Four weeks ago I finished work with my church at the summer Day Camp program. The day after, I traveled from Chicago to Bloomington-Normal to Tennessee and the next morning to Atlanta, GA. It took about 12hrs straight from Atlanta back to Chicago. Not even after a week from being back from training camp, I left for another camp. This time to Wisconsin to Phantom Ranch. I was a co-counselor for a group of high school girls from a couple of different churches around Chicago. It was an amazing week full of answered prayers, worship, great talks with some of my girls, and great speakers! The Lord was really moving. However, I am feeling burnt-out.
*The girls in my cabin from Phantom Ranch (is RAW!)
Yesterday I went to the house of a very close friend of mine to see if I could get a deferment on my loans. I sat in her kitchen. She asked me what’s been going on and I began to cry. I realized I have been giving and giving and giving and giving some more of myself that I realized I have been feeling like I’ve been running on empty. I have been trying to give my stress and worry all to the Lord that I was forgetting to receive from the Lord. “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). To be honest, I still haven’t sat still before the Lord and take time to be in the word. Why? Well…sometimes I don’t really know how to. It has to do with a variety of factors. It’s as though I am shutting down – and this is really not a good time to do that, especially with trying to meet my next financial deadline, getting ready to leave in about 4 weeks and take care of important details.
So…here are some major things that have been going on in my life so far:
- I have a deadline of $6,500 that has to be met by Monday. I have about $1,200 more to go. This week I have been working on a yard sale, scheduled for tomorrow.
- I do not qualify for a loan deferment, but am looking into trying to pay off my loans for next couple of months (thank God that I saved some money!)
- I need to pay for a year supply of malaria pills
- Saying good bye to people is going to be hard
- It’s slowly hitting me that I will be very much different when I come back and that everyone I am leaving here now will also be different or not here when I come back
- I also have NO IDEA what I will be doing once I come back – people already want to know and I haven’t even left yet! What ever happened to living one day at a time….??
Will you please pray for me? For all these things I’ve listed? I can’t go on my own strength anymore. I need the Lord to fill me.
