Remember, remember….

It's been months since my last post…

Months.

Unreal.  Over those months I often found myself at the end of a week, or sometimes several weeks, not able to track how I got there.    

I've been busy.  Not busy with anything in particular.  Simply busy being busy.

Please don't misunderstand; I've done a lot of amazing things in the past few months including trips to Chicago for the Legacy Conference with my dear friend Aspen and to Orlando for The Gospel Coalition Women's Conference with my Mama.  Both of these trips were incredible and deserve posts all by themselves (which I hope to do soon!).  I've also done a lot of routine things: work, get far less sleep than I probably should, drink far more coffee than I probably should…

But this busyness has become numbing and ridiculous.  Last night was the breaking point.  I pleaded with God to reveal the roots of this behavior to me.

My conclusion (straight from my journal):

My reading plan had me in Psalm 78 and John 20 & 21.  The verses below practically slapped me in the face:

Psalm 78:11 – "They forgot His works and the wonders that He had shown them."
Psalm 78:38a – "Yet He, being compassionate, atoned for their iniquity and did not destroy them…"
John 20:21 – "Jesus said to them again, 'Peace be with you.  As the Father has sent me, even so I am sending you.'"

I forgot.  

In all honesty, I know that God is compassionate, that He is working for my good and His glory.  But practically, I forgot that He's not waving something in front of me, waiting for me to grab at it just to pull it away and laugh.  He's not like an older sibling playing tricks.  He's a loving, gracious, and compassionate Father shining the light on my path for just the next couple steps.  

So as I remember the many ways He's been faithful and compassionate, here is a small sampling of His graciousness in this World Race journey I'm on:

1 – My first financial goal was met weeks before the cutoff.  The balance in my account stayed at around $750 for months… Then one donation after another poured in, many of which were anonymous. My account is now at around $4,400!!  To my financial supporters, I cannot thank you enough for your sacrifice and gifts!!!  (My next deadline is in December, at which time I must have $6,500!)

2 – Camping gear is insanely more expensive than I ever imagined.  I recently made a list of the items I'll need next year, many of which were hundreds of dollars a piece.  My first ever trip to REI produced a deeply discounted, slightly used tent – saving me around $100 or so.  Secondly, two of my ridiculously amazing friends (who are in the Reserves) have graciously given me my pack and sleeping bag!  My roommate, who is quite frankly the bees knees, has also been adding to my gear – including my sleeping pad!  I'm now down to needing just smaller things here and there!

3 – Vaccinations were toward the top of my list of concerns.  I'm somewhat afraid of needles (please don't judge me and act like just because I have tattoos, I shouldn't be afraid of needles.  I can assure you, they're very different…), but my biggest concern was how I was going to pay for them.  As I was fretting (and obviously not trusting God as I should have been), He sent along a very gracious gentleman who agreed to not only pay for my vaccinations, but also provide me with the malaria meds I would need throughout the entirety of my trip!!!

4 – Several months ago, I did a mock quote to get a general idea of how much I would need by September to secure my medical insurance while I'm away.  I began saving for the figure it spit out at that time, only to be surprised with a much lower actual cost at the time I had to purchase it!!

So today, I chose to remember His works and the wonders He's shown me.