I’ve been trying to write a blog for a few days now; something wrapping up my time in India, or summarizing what life is like here in Swaziland. However, every time I try and sit down to write, I’ve got nothing but writer’s block. I decided I might as well write whatever it is I have on my heart, and right now, during this holiday weekend, that’s gratitude. (This is a journal excerpt from Easter morning.) ____________________________________________________________
Dear Papa, Thank You for this sunrise. Not just for its’ beauty and colors, but for the amazing gift that it symbolizes. Thank You for second chances, and thirds and fourths.
Thank You for loving me so much that You pursued and continue to pursue me tirelessly. No matter how many times I stuck my hand in Your face, no matter how many times I cursed Your name, or rejected Your ways, You never stopped chasing me; You never stopped wanting me, and You never stopped loving me.
Thank You for giving me a freedom that I will never truly understand in this life time. Time after time, mistake after mistake, I continue to lock chains on my wrists, on my ankles and on my neck. Every fault, every screw up, every regret, I clasp another chain on, slowly being bogged down by the mounting weight. Then, just when I think I can’t handle it any longer, You show up and say “Here, let me take those.”
The God that created me, the God that breathed life into my nostrils, the God that numbered every hair on my head, that knows every thought that I have, and every day that I will live. You have stripped me of all the old, You’ve given me this sunrise, this Easter sunrise, this new beginning and said “Go ahead, start anew.”
Papa, You are so beyond amazing! Who truly understands Your glory, Your power, and above all Your love? A love that is really and truly unconditional. A love that I can’t do anything to earn, nor to lose. What is that?
I would say I don’t deserve that, but I know that’s the point. It’s not about what I deserve, it’s about what You offer, what You have, what You’ve already given. A love so powerful it frees us. A love so powerful, it grants life. A love so powerful, that it can sustain us entirely.
Papa, I will never fully understand You. I will never fully understand why You made the universe the way You did, why You made me the way You did, or why You let Jesus take my place, take the punishment that my sin deserves.
But I thank You.
With every ounce of humility and gratitude in my heart, Papa I thank You for everything. For everything You have done for me and for all the things still to come.
Thank You for loving me, thank You for saving me, and thank You for giving me life. A life which I owe entirely to You. A life which I plan to spend serving Your Kingdom, declaring Your name and singing Your praises. You are Good. You are God, and I thank You with every last breath in my lungs.
I love You.
-Your daughter
xoxo
