Don’t get me wrong, I like nice things. I enjoy my soft, fluffy mattress, with the giant pillow top, I love my rotating stainless steel spice rack, and my mini espresso machine, I love my knock-off Steve Madden boots, my fitted blue jeans, my Lola perfume, and my collection of earrings. I love these things, and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I enjoy these things, but they don’t define me. My worth, my identity, my value to society or myself is not defined by the cost of my shoes, or the variety of my closet, or the size of my home. They’re luxuries, things that if you budget wisely and live well, I believe there is no reason not to enjoy them, but that’s where the relationship ends.
I’ve heard before ‘money doesn’t buy happiness’. That’s a phrase that is often tossed around, and I believed it to an extent. But then again, money troubles are stressful; money troubles create tension, which leads to fighting, and unhappiness, right? Wrong. Tension, stress, they are both a state of mind. There are two months that are flashing hypnotically in my mind right now. Nicaragua and Cambodia.
Phnom Penh, Cambodia. Ministry: Unsung Heroes. Living conditions: Lucky Star 2 Hotel, my own bed, made every day by the hotel staff, western toilets, that I can throw TP in, and flush! Running water, hot* water, mirrors, a full length mirror*, HOT showers, new towels everyday, air conditioning, a small café downstairs, a plethora of delicious restaurants that will deliver food to our hotel room door, café’s and laundry service a quick walk in any direction, internet 24/7, malls with food, shopping, ice cream and coffee, and an Olympic Stadium a 10 minute walk away, perfect for working out.
Palacaguina, Nicaragua. Ministry: Assisting Pastor David, VBS, Youth Group, Led Worship, Delivered Sermons, Helped around the Community. Living Conditions: Pop-up tents inside the Church, on a sleeping pad, with a travel pillow, inside my tent, on a tile floor, no air conditioning, cold bucket showers, an outhouse with a concrete hole in the ground, cockroaches, beetles and flying bugs of all shapes and sizes, no running water, no mirrors, no sinks, hang dry our clothes outside the church and pray it doesn’t rain, lots of rice, and beans, and more rice, 25 minute walk into town for internet, minimal corner stores or snacks, you’d be lucky if you could even find a snickers bar (the most common familiar snack found over sea’s). Our Pastor lived in a mud house, with mud floors, and a steel slate roof. A single light bulb dangled from their main living area, and another in their eight-square-foot kitchen.
And yet, if I could choose to return to one month or the other, I’d choose Palacaguina, every time. Money does not make the experience, money does not make happiness. What made happiness in Palacaguina was the people, the community, and the state of mind. The fact that even if they didn’t have much, they would give you everything they possibly could in order to make you feel welcome. The fact that even though Pastor David and Damarise had what we would consider the mere basic necessities, they loved each other deeper than I have ever seen. “Mi Amor!” Damarise would holler when it was time for Pastor to help with dinner. Nice things are great, they’re wonderful and I love them. I can’t wait to return home and get my feet scrubbed and nails freshly painted, sleep in my big comfy bed, and relax on my couch, with my dogs in the air conditioning. But those things, or even more so, the lack of those things do not define my happiness or my state of mind. Just as I mentioned in my previous entry, Love is a choice, and also JOY is a choice. Joy is not determined by your circumstances, your money or your environment. Joy is a state of mind, and one must choose joy.
When I look back and remember Nicaragua, I don’t remember the pain of the cold showers or the uncomfortable state of the outhouse. I remember the people, the community, the love; I remember the incredible growth I achieved in my relationship with the Lord, and the tremendous growth we achieved as a team. Material things are fun, but they don’t determine my happiness. I vow to remember this lesson as I continue to move forward in life; that no matter my financial situation, no matter what I think I have or don’t have, I will choose joy. I will keep the meaningful things in perspective, I will remember Nicaragua, and that money did not and will not determine my mood. I will choose joy every time.
“Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.” James 1:2-3
