I knew coming into the race that there would be things that would just pierce my heart and break it. I’ve prayed into and asked for it to happen because how can I really help and have a better understanding of things if I’m not on a level where my whole being is invested and affected. There have been things in the first two months that have affected me and made an impact on me in many different ways. But I never felt that sense of heart break over anything. I don’t even know what that would really look like.
I felt it today though. It probably doesn’t help that emotionally I’m a bit scattered at the moment for a number of different reasons, but regardless a canning jar broke my heart today.
I went to Stoenesti for the day with my teammate Meagan to help out a husband and wife (George and Dana) in their ministry for this small village. Part of that ministry was serving a lunch to locals in need of some food. Dana prepared the meal and then George and the two of us went to the city center to serve it out. I’ve done this before. Pass out a hot meal to people who take it and disappear just as quickly. Pretty simple.
Today was nowhere near what I expected. We arrived to the town center and some folks there to eat helped unload the van. Chairs were gathered, the table was set and everyone sat down in a seat waiting patiently. Some well into their 80s with others no more than 5 or 6 years old. Meagan and I passed out full bowls of soup while George spooned it out. Nobody touched their food until it was all served and a prayer was said.
At that point everyone ate. There was next to no conversation. George spent some time talking about some of the people there. This woman lost her husband several years ago and now lives with a granddaughter in an abusive environment. This other woman lives with a daughter-in-law, also in an abusive situation. This young man is the grandson of this older woman. She watches over him after his father was killed and his mother ran off. These men live with friends because they don’t have a home. No one here has jobs. These kids are not taken care of in their own homes. All together there were probably 10 people there.
You could see the years etched in the faces of the older folks there. There was still some life in their eyes, but you could just feel that they have had it incredibly hard. For the young boys, there was a quite joy about them, but I never heard a peep out of them at the table. After two courses of food, that was it as far as what was being served. Then the old canning jars appeared. A couple of people had them. They put what was left of their lunch in those canning jars. Really nothing more than a few bites of sausage and spoonfuls of beans. My heart broke.
My heart broke because taking that small amount food in a canning jar is an indicator that they likely have nothing else to eat where ever they are living. My heart broke because I don’t have a clue as to what it’s like to have to do something like that for survival. My heart broke because even though I’m by no means living the high life right now, it’s still not even close to what they are going through. I’ve never been brought to the point in my life where I have to carry around a canning jar in my backpack to save food in just to ensure that I have a tiny bit to eat that night. I don’t know why God used that moment to wreck me, but He did. And the sad thing is I have always known that people have to scrape by everyday all around the world to make it by another day. Seeing it and just knowing about it are entirely different though. That’s incredibly clear to me now.
Two of the women we ate with returning "home".
