These World Race people always talk about identity. Really, they talk about a lot of weird stuff. Like ‘preferring’ people. And ‘feedback’. Or ‘speaking life’ into people. But of all the weird stuff they talk about, I thought identity was one that I understood.
When I signed up for the Race, one of the things I looked forward to the most was shooting and editing video. I found a camera on ebay, and got my editing software downloaded on my laptop. After training camp, I made a video recap that I was really proud of, and the World Race even shared it on facebook and twitter. It was a real ego boost for me, and I was reassured that I was in fact talented.
But when we got to Romania, other people whipped out better cameras with better lenses and they all looked like they knew what they were doing. Then they started posting the videos they made, and they were really good. I was overwhelmed. Most of the time I’m the go-to video girl. And then all of a sudden, there were a bunch of filmmakers running around. I felt like the one thing I was really good at was suddenly everyone’s ‘thing’. I wasn’t the go-to video girl anymore. I didn’t know what I was.
This past month in Moldova didn’t start off much better. We went from being with our whole squad to just our team, and I still didn’t know how I fit. I didn’t feel like I had a role. Then, during one of our team times, the issue of identity was brought up. A few of my team members shared that they felt like they had no specific calling or talents, and that they didn’t know why they were on the Race. I was shocked. I didn’t understand how they could think they weren’t talented or that they didn’t see the greatness they had inside them. And then it hit me. I felt the same exact way about myself.
I tried to work through that on my own but didn’t really get anywhere. Then, last week during our team time, I asked for feedback. And what I got was really incredible. My teammates called out greatness in me and challenged me to be who God created me to be. These are some of the things they told me:
I am good at other things besides video stuff.
I am beautiful.
I bring joy to our team.
I am a good friend.
It rocked my world. I knew I needed to hear the first one, but the other three took me by surprise. I never would have identified myself as beautiful, joyful, or a good friend. But now that they have brought those things to my attention, I’m beginning to see them in myself. And I feel comfort in knowing that my identity is found in so much more than just one thing that I’m good at.
I ask that you would pray that God continues to speak to me and my teammates and reveal why He has us on this journey!
