“I should just baby wipe my bowl. It would be quicker. Plus, that rag and water looks nasty. Oh, for sure baby wiping. Waiting here to wash my dish will take way longer than me walking to my tent and baby…”
Before I could even finish my internal debate on how to wash my dish from lunch, the ground began to shake and rumble as a 7.3 earthquake was taking place.
Monday morning my squad and I headed four hours, northeast, up into the Nepali mountains to a village called Melchour. Our plans were to help rebuild a church that was destroyed in the first earthquake Nepal had on April 25th. Upon arrival we had to hike 30ish minutes down the side of the mountain to reach the site of the church. We set up our tent on ridges that are about 12 feet wide. The next morning, Tuesday, we started to remove the rubble of rocks from the fallen church. Lunch time rolled around and our squad sat on the ridges of the mountain and enjoyed the beautiful views of the other surrounding mountains. Then out of nowhere the earthquake hit.
In all honesty, I don’t remember the thoughts that went through my head or if I even registered what exactly was happening. I remember running out from underneath the makeshift tarp, that provided shade for us, and wrapping my arms around the village girl who was screaming and running beside me. Once I was out from under the tarp, I stood still and gazed out into the layers of mountains.
Houses began to fall and some even slide down the side of the mountains. Dust clouds formed in every directions, coming off the sides of the mountains and forming a huge cloud in the middle of sky. Screams upon screams filled the air and consumed the mountain sides.
“Get down! Everyone get down!” Announced my squad leader Dustin. I couldn’t move. I looked over at two of my squad mates standing next to me and saw the horror in their eyes.
The ground stood still after shaking for what seemed really long, but was only about 10 seconds.
“The screaming. Oh my gosh, the screaming. There are tons of people down there. Houses fell…they won’t stop screaming.” I continued to repeat to myself.
I quickly remember the village girl next to me and I looked her in the eyes and asked her if she was okay. She nodded yes and hugged me tight. As I held on to her, my gaze quickly went back to the mountains. The dust clouds grew and widen and the screams continued to shake my core and turn my insides.
A squad mate, near by me, fell to her knees and began to weep and sob. I wanted to do the exact same thing, but my body wouldn’t let me. I listened to the screams and stood looking out, as they flooded me like raging ocean waves, taking me deeper into the reality that people died, are currently buried under the rubble, injured and running in panic as their worst fear came roaring to life once more. A few of my squad mates who were trained in paramedics and first aid went and checked on the near by families to make sure they were okay and not within the fallen rubble of homes we saw collapse.
I sat down and prayed. I don’t know what I said exactly, but I cried to The Father from a place of hope and faith. I pleaded for the lives of the village people and for His presence to be made known.
As I sat, I heard my squad leaders telling us to all pack up our tents as quickly as possible and that we had to get off the side of the mountain as soon as we could. My stomach turned ever more and my eyes watered up. “We are leaving?!” I said in a shaken voice? “Just going to leave them?” My squad leader, Dustin looked at me and said, “We are no good to them dead. We need to get to safety first and then reassert what we can do once we are safe.”
I knew he was right, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that we were running…giving up. I was so scared, but it didn’t seem fair that we were able to leave, but this family and all the families who live in the mountains had no place to turn and run to.
I have never packed up so quickly in my life and really it was all a blur to me. I remember walking up to my squad leaders and letting them know I was ready. In the midst of me waiting for others to get ready an aftershock rumble up and shook the earth once more. I dropped to my knees, as the most beautiful sound arose from my squad. Prayer. From all different direction I heared my squad praying and I joined in.
The ground stilled and we began making our trek up the mountain side in groups of no less than six. It was he hardest thing physically I have gone through yet in my life. It took us about an hour to hike up the mountain with two aftershocks along the way.
Once we got to the top of the mountain we looked for a flat open land. We found a spot cleared out where the UN – WFP(world food program) started assembling tent to store food, water and other resources in. They let my squad take a tent and we quickly made it into our own “refuge camp.”
That afternoon a group of ten from my squad, including me, went to a village that was hit the worst but the earthquake earlier that day. It took us an hour hike down the side of the mountain to get there. I cannot begin to tell you of the images I saw. Every building was collapse, or sliding down the mountain. What was even more heartbreaking is that the locals assumed everyone who was trapped was dead. There was no point in trying to search. We did not settle for that. As we walked the dirt road we asked the few locals if their were people trapped. A local directed us to a collapse building where he saw a man, a women and two children get buried under the fallen building. We all knew we had to try. Whether they were dead, we needed to get them out. So, we began to remove bricks, fallen beams, window frames and more.
It was chaotic and nerve racking. The language barrier made it hard to really pin point where the bodies could even be. Ten minutes into us removing debris we all heard the cry of a baby. We paused, listen and try with the best of our ability to pin point the location of the sound. Then everything intensified. We all started moving bricks faster and faster, while being as careful as possible to not cause any more harm to the baby or other individuals who could be under the fallen building. A few minutes passed, my heart is racing and we are praying for the safety of this baby and the Nepali army relief force arrives and takes over.
I was overwhelmed and frustrated that we got pushed out, but I knew this was their job. We stood and watched for a few minutes and the our squad leader to,d us we had to leave to start heading back to the UN -WFP base camp before night fall hit. The last thing I wanted to do was leave. The hardest thing was walking away and not knowing wether the baby would be found or not.
We returned to the mountain top and I began to set my tent up. As we settled down and retreated to our tents for the evening I could not find peace or reassurance. I was mad and frustrated and couldn’t quit process the day I just experienced. Little sleep came to me that night, as I often woke looking at the dangling strap of my head lamp to see if the ground was really shaking, or if it was just me.
The next day came, dragged on and on and all I wanted was to be in communion with The Father. I didn’t want to see another damage house, or the distress face of a mother not knowing what to do, or the fear and trauma in a child’s eyes. I just wanted to seek the Father and soak in His truth that He is always good and faithful no matter what.
We remained at the UN base until Thursday morning and returned to Kathmandu Thursday afternoon. I am without a doubt confident in Gods will. He has saturated me with His peace. Though the ground may tremble and the mountains shake, I stand firm in knowing my God cannot be shaken!
I ask you to be in constant prayer for my squad and me. To pray without ceasing for the country of Nepal and the others affected. Pray for the Fathers will to be done and for the Nepali people hearts to be soften and eyes and ears open to God.
