When I was a little girl I never thought I’d be a missionary. The world “missionary” wasn’t even a part of my vocabulary until I was in the double digits. I grew up in church, yes, but I guess it was just something that I was never REALLY taught about. The first opportunity I had to really understand what that looked like, was when I was 14 and went to South Africa for 1 month. Here I am, this naïve just turned 14-year-old child, hopping on a plane with a bunch of other teenagers going to South Africa for a month to be a missionary? I didn’t even know what that would look like. But I would quickly find out. That month in South Africa transformed my life. Who knew that in one month and at 14-years-old, I could grow up significantly, understand what Christ looks like, learn what it looks like to love “the least of these” and share with them the hope that comes from Christ, and that I would absolutely fall in love with an entire nation. That one single month in South Africa literally transformed my entire world.
That was in 2005. Two years later, in 2007, I hopped on another plane, heading back to the destination of my heart: South Africa. This time I was going for a little over two months, to work with the organization that had hosted us in 2005. I got to spend every single day going out and loving so hard. Building relationships. Making friends. Gaining a new “Grandma” in the form of a beautiful woman with dimples for days and a laugh that fills the room. Seeing Christ in the form of a small boy who stole my heart. There isn’t a single day that goes by where I don’t think about and pray about him, wondering where his life has taken him. After that summer I was asked to come back in leadership the next year, but even if I hadn’t been, I would have gone back anyways. Those months tied my heart even stranger to South Africa. Those months I got to spend going out and building powerful relationships with the Basotho people, tied my heart even stronger to South Africa. Those months full of heartbreak, tied my heart to South Africa. I never knew I could love a country so much, but it happened. South Africa has won my heart and that’s something that won’t ever change.
I had plans to go back to her for a year and possibly longer, but due to circumstances out of my control, that didn’t happen. And it broke my heart. Absolutely broke it. A ministry that I had fallen in love with, a ministry that I felt was doing such beautiful things for the cause of Christ, was no longer. And an opportunity to go back to my heart was suddenly lost. I didn’t know where to go from there, so I didn’t go anywhere. I just saw it as a closed door from the Lord and went on with life, as hard as that was to do. Every day I was thinking about the people of my heart, the country of my heart, and every day was a struggle because I didn’t see how I’d ever get back to her.
It’s been 5 years since I was in South Africa.
When I found out about the World Race, the thought of possibly getting to go to South Africa was definitely something that crossed my mind, almost immediately. But as I began to pray over routes the one tugging at my heart, the one I am currently on, didn’t have South Africa in the lineup. That was hard. And the Lord and I have had words, but ultimately I trust my Father and I knew that if this route, with these specific countries was where He was calling me, than I needed to trust Him in that and understand that He wouldn’t very clearly lead me somewhere if He didn’t have a purpose in it.
One of the things you learn about the race is that nothing is set in stone, and everything is subject to change, including your route. We found that out first hand at Training Camp, when they told us that not only were we NOT going to Thailand anymore (it was replaced by Vietnam), but that our whole African route had changed. Instead of going to Uganda, Rwanda, and South Sudan, we were now going to be going to Malawi, Mozambique, and Swaziland – more Southern Africa. We were all disappointed, but as a squad, we also chose to choose joy and trust that God has a bigger plan than what we could imagine, and no matter where He chose to send us, it was going to be good. It was going to be better than good. Plus, if we were going to Swaziland, that meant that more than likely we would either fly into, or fly out of South Africa, so I could at least spend a few hours taking in the smells and sites of my heart.
Jump to the end of our month one debrief, just a few days ago, in the Philippines. We are in our last session, the night before we are supposed to head to Malaysia. Everything is great. It’s been a wonderful month, debrief has been full of rest and Jesus, and we are all pumped for Malaysia. Our last session is over, and one of our Squad Leaders comes up and says He has an announcement to make. And it’s about our route. Low and behold, V Squad has another route change. As he starts explain the reasons behind the change, and starts listing our countries, my heart is pounding.
We get back Thailand! So, instead of only being in Asia the first four months of our race, we will be here for 5. Philippines, Malaysia, Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand. Awesome.
And then he tells us that we have lost India and Nepal, which is pretty heartbreaking. I think it’s safe to say that as a Squad we were all sad about that, but there is nothing that we, or AIM could do about that one. But, because of that change, our African route changed once again.
No more Malawi.
No more Mozambique.
Swaziland is still good to go.
And then we find out what our other African country is… South Africa!!!!!
I immediately burst into tears. My heart literally felt like it was going to explode out of my chest, and I was so full of joy and was hard to contain. Jesus gave me my South Africa! I feel like this is a little love blessing from the Lord – a confirmation that He really does know me, He knows my heart, He knows my longings, and He is blessing me with an opportunity to go home. I couldn’t be more thankful. Who knows what month will hold, who knows what ministry will look like, and who knows what the Lord is going to do. I don’t know any of those things, but what I do know is that I trust my Father. I trust Him to take care of it, no matter what that looks like. I am so excited to see where He takes V Squad, and Desiderio Domini.
