I have a deadline on May 22nd of $6000. Before you (my family) start freaking out its more of a guideline than a deadline! My first mandatory deadline is July 2nd of $9000. Yeah cue my freak-out.
I thought it was going to be easy like, Hey I’m just walking down the street and money just falls from the sky and lands at my feet and I’d just walk away like “Ah thanks God,that’s super rad!” Or another scenario I’d grab my jeans out of the wash and put my hand in the pocket and just pull out wads of cash then I’d say “Woah cool God! Thanks for the cash!” Wow I feel like God is chuckling at me, maybe saying “Where is the faith in that, child? How will that teach you to lean on me when you do not understand my plans? How will you grow nearer to me if you want me to just give it away and you put in no effort?” He’s right! I mean of course He’s right, He is the all powerful, sovereign, good God of the universe! And I will learn nothing if it’s just easily given I need to work for this relationship and make sacrifices just as He did, my sacrifice of myself and of my flesh!
So I skipped ahead in my devotional to May 22nd just out of curiosity and I realized I needed it:
bad I cry and don’t know if it’s worth it. I have a plan for if I don’t raise the money and sometimes I just want to tell everyone I’m not going and go to school like I planned but I know that’s not the right choice. I let my unwillingness to fully trust in God get the best of me sometimes and that is a betrayal to my awesome, loving, dependable God, my Father.
So I will put my pride and self-righteous ways in the trash where they belong and ask for something I hate asking for which is help. Monetarily and Prayerfully. Do not be discouraged by the fact that you may not know me or you think your prayer won’t help because it truly will. And don’t think that any amount is too small and won’t help because surely it will and the heaviness on you heart is God but the doubt and anxiety in your head is the enemy I know because he pushes the same doubt and anxiety on me and we have to be stronger than that and push it aside.
To those of you who have already contributed THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, for the partnership and know you will be on this trip with me growing in my faith with God and hopefully allowing God to speak through me to others and bringing in new brothers and sisters in Christ!
Until Next Time!
Much love and even more Jesus,
Rylie
