It was the fall semester of 2010 and I felt like it was time to move on from my home town of Missoula, MT. Only question was…where? I was still in school at University of Montana studying communication. I was meeting up with my friends I have in the past and telling them what was on my heart. I was feeling like Abraham not knowing really where I was going. One of my friends gave me a book to read saying it will challenge me. Reading the Barbarbian Way by Erwin McManus blew my mind!! The book is about living a life of untamed faith.
A part of the book he talks Corrie Ten Boom and her sister Bestie. During WWII Ten Boom family were hiding Jews from the Germans in their house; they got caught. For punishment they served in the concentration camps with the Jews. While there Bestie said “The safest place is in the will of God.” Later in the chapter the author talks about Hebrews chapter 11 which is about faith. Hebrews 11:36-3 “Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword. They went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, mistreated – of whom the world was not worthy – wandering about in deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth.”
After reading that and thinking, “How does that sound safe? That sounds terrible to me.” More I thought about it, it was making more and more sense. If that is his will for others to hear the good news and you know where you will be, it is the safest place you can be. After reading the book, next thing I know I applied for ministry jobs all over the world. What in the world just happened! Was I ready for this?
Year and half passed by and I was still applying and waiting to see what would happen. I came across a job and applied. It would be in London working with troubled teenagers through a discipleship program. I have a heart for teenagers and enjoy discipling people to watch them grow deeper in their walk. I had countless skype interviews, and emailing back and forth. Next step was to head to the Twin Cities for a final face to face interveiw which would gaurentee me the job. Bought my plane ticket, hotel reservations, ready to go; then I got an email one week before this happend. It read something along this:
“We have enjoyed getting to know you and your heart, we have filled the postion. May God bless you in your search.”
I was torn apart! I thought this is where the Lord wanted me? This happened a few more times (different organizations of course.) I was reading about God’s sovereignty and my pastor spoke at InterVarstiy about it. He put as God knows what He is doing, and is doing it! He is doing it in your sadness, your sickness, and your success. I never learned it like that before. I was scared to keep applying for jobs or mission organizations because I didn’t want the door slammed in my face. But God, had something better in mind for me.
Fast forward up to last April. I applied for ACMNP (A Christian Minsitry in the National Parks) and got accepted! Wait…what?! I’m in? No door slamming? What is going on? Placement was at the Grand Canyon North Rim. So, I took it! I left in May not knowing what I was getting into, and it was awesome and more challenging than I thought. I learned that Christian community is important and that I did not have there. I had two partners; one was not really around and the other didn’t understand what it meant to follow Jesus. I learned more about God’s sovereignty and about myself. I kept applying for jobs, and two happend to come my way. One was a youth pastor in Texas the other doing youth minsitry in the Bahamas.
I checked both of them out after the Grand Canyon season was over. Bahamas scared me more than I thought. No one my age where I would be, very isolated, and raising $41,000 a year. I liked the Texas one a bit more thinking it would be good for me. As I was waiting to hear from them about a place to live I got an email about it was not a good time to come down, (I was back in Missoula at this time.) I thought for sure I would be living in Texas by now, guess not.
Past few months were rough. I wanted to be in Texas doing that job; instead, I had no job, money was running out quick. What to do? I was not sure if I could still go to Urbana. (Urbana is a missions conference held every three years by InterVarsity.) I was back at square one three years ago, awesome! I felt like a mess, then God provided a way to Urbana. I spent most of my time in the prayer room seeking His face and missional organizations to see where the Lord wants me.
I was praying and applying to some of these and waiting to hear back on where to go next. I heard back from the World Race. Had an interview and to accept. Next step…get the deposit for my spot on the trip. I still had not job and didn’t have enough for bills, (thank goodness for loving parents.) I told a friend about it and he felt lead to give some for the deposit. A week and a half later I get a job. I was praying about that if this is the Lord’s will that he will provide or challenge me. I felt peace about this and was sure this is where I was supposed to be. I looked at my bank account and had just enough for it, so I did it.
It’s hard to imangine that is finally becoming real. Father, I am ready to do your will and further Your Kingdom.
Romans 10:15 – “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!”
