I come to camp with no expectations. But thinking i know why God has me here, flight goes well, I meet other world racers, I'm loving life. Slowly my squad gets to know eachother, God is helping us let our guards down As we worship the first night, my heart holds back. I don't know what is happening? I LOVE worship, but something is holding me back. I think to myself, no big deal, I must just be nervous, that night we talk about surrendering, little do I realize I came to camp with a heart filled with expectations, a heart that thinks I know what God wants. I have to drop the thoughts that God is going to tell me what to do with my life on the trip, I had this hidden in my mind. As we worship on Sunday God breaks me, speaking of soul-ties. I don't have a soul tie with a person, this soul tie has no identity, but has a name. Fear. Fear of what and where I will go and do in my life. Expectations of my llife. As I pray with one of the leaders David, my heart breaks down, I sob.
How can I trust him with 11 Months of my life around the world yet Not trust him with my future. He suddenly is speaking into my heart, He Loves me. his Love is Perfect. He is always walking with me. His purpose is large, he chose each one of us here indivdually for his purpose. He has come to show me his true love, that I am a Son of God. I have been empowered with the Holy Spirit,, I suddenly look around and see and hear and FEEL how much love he has for me. His love is in my bones. As we praise + Worship, "Abba! Father!"
He fillsme, he LOVES to hear my voice, I need to Love my voice because because God does. I came here thinking I have a voice, but I have a NEW voice, not timid to share his love and saving Grace, his immense Love, like an Ocean. As God shakes down the walls of my heart, I begin to feel heaven inside. I don't have this feeling of inadequacy, I find my voice in declarations of his Love. I am not only regenerated by the Holy Spirit, but surrender to him and he empowers me fully. I come to realize why he brought me here, It's to feel Freedom in his love, how could I bring his love to the world if I don't fully comprehend in my heart how he feels for me, During worship I shout out '"We're Free!" – I have never shouted a declaration during worship in my life, but now, he is overflowing my cup with a waterfall of his Love, and now I will be able to Gush his love out to the world. He breaks me down, to FILL ME UP!
-We are the Sons and Daughters, NO LONGER SLAVES TO FEAR!
and to my mom and pops, things are amazing, my phone has no service but I need to get picked up from the airport on Sunday, I want to say about 6ish – US Airways. Love you, thanks!
