So the title of this sums it up. I am so comfortable currently that I am absolutely uncomfortable. I cannot even explain how I am truly feeling. In twenty one days, I will be on a plane to NYC… three days later.. freakin Indiaaa!! whattt??? I am so out of control excited.
Okay, for the uncomfortably comfortable nonsense… everything in my life down to my comfortable bed has become uncomfortable. I feel like the Lord is preparing my heart in every way shape and form for what is to come. He has made me ache for the nations… and I am just now accepting it. I have been antsy this semester and not happy. I felt angry for awhile about this but I am finally putting the pieces together that all along it has been the Lord stripping me down in order to build me up.. with a new mind.. a new definition of comfortable.
I am thoroughly uncomfortable with the unknown that is going to go down in the next year. Dude, I am the type of girl who needs at least a tentative schedule.. I mean at least for India!! BUT God has given me a peace that blows my mind.. I have zero expectations.. except for the Him to move. Because of this one expectation, I am SO comfortable with the unknown of 2011.
Through all this, I have realized is that..
We are not called to live a comfortable life.
this does not mean it is a sin to chill in America, be comfortable and enjoy all that the Lord has blessed us with, but it does mean we need to be so in tune with HIM that we know what we are supposed to be doing while we live.
We are literally a drop in the ocean. A breath. A blink.
depressing? no, beautiful.
Psalm 39:4
Show me, O LORD, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life.
Psalm 78:39
We remembered that they were but flesh, a passing breeze that does not return.
James 4:14
Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.
We have so freakin much in store for us that it is so overwhelming IF we would just get in tune with Him. We have such a short time on this earth and I encourage every single one of you to get up and embrace / beg the Lord to reveal that to you. It has taken me WAY to long to finally comprehend this.. I have much more surrendering to do in so many aspects of my life but the sanctification process is absolutely begun and I am thrilled. I still mess up so much in huge ways. I am so extreme that when I do mess up, I feel like the Lord has turned from me and He wants nothing to do with me… when thats the POLAR opposite.
His grace is mind blowing. I cannot even comprehend Him..
but good news– we are not called to.
This is all the stuff that has been on my mind recently. I am just uncomfortable. I am ready to go.. while at the same time I still have so much to do. I hate goodbyes so part of me just wants to peace now and not say bye. This is a super awkward time in the life of Ruth Wilson. I am overwhelmed and haunted still by what is going on in the world. I am thoroughly glad it has not gone away but I am just to the point where I am antsy to go and show the love of Christ to the nations. twenty one days. twenty one freaking days until I am gone for three hundred and thirty days-give or take-I am exhilarated. I ask you to pray with me as the final countdown is here.. and we are getting everything squared away here in the States. From fundraising, to packing logically, down to the conditions of our hearts. You guys are baller shot caller.
