Anybody that knows me knows how good I am with dates. No, not dating, but dates and times. I don’t know what it is, but the dates of different events in my life just seem to stick in my head. October 20, 2001, I got sober. September 18, 2002, I quit smoking. April 19, 1991, I snuck out my mom’s car and Ben Crowley or Brandon Acree, one of the two, threw up Purple Passion in the back seat. I of course got caught and grounded! July 5, 1995, I moved to Fayetteville. This date is particulary important to me right now because my time here is coming to an end. Eleven more days to be exact.
To be honest, I couldn’t be happier! Don’t get me wrong, I love this town. My time here has shaped me and grown me in SO many ways. It was right here that I partied like a rock star, flunked out of school, got back into school, got arrested – twice, spent six days in the Fayetteville city jail, broke hearts, had MY heart crushed – a few times, found a career path in college, graduated college, started my TV career at 40/29, got sober, moved away for a couple years, came back and watched as my TV career came to an end with the infamous “mancrush” comment at Bud Walton Arena. HA! I still laugh at that.
Even as I go back and look over this list I still can’t believe how much I’ve had to start over. I’ve been knocked down many times, but I have gotten up most of the time and usually those bad moments were followed by some of the best times ever! Summer days spent at Beaver Lake on Tonya’s boat with Brent and Josh. College football Saturday. Walks at Wilson park with Jill. Millions of coffee runs with Charley. My time at 40/29 with Aaron, Derek and Russell. Hanging with my sister. Sitting in a parked car outside of the mall finally realizing what it means for someone to love you the way Christ does. I learned about “true” love that night.
In a lot of ways these events have made me a better man. They have refined me, but there is much more work that needs to be done. Work only my heavenly father can continue. That’s been my prayer since January. “God make me the man you want me to be.” It’s amazing to see Him answer that prayer. He shows me something new about myself everyday. Sometimes good, sometimes bad, but all with the intention of growing me into a man of God. It’s painful at times. I have found in order to heal you have to be willing to go back to the places in your heart that are wounded or hurt. You have got to be willing to dig and find the real you. For me it’s been amazing how buried the real “Rusty” was, underneath pain, insecurities, false ego, and lies from the enemy. This path has not been easy and I’m sure once I get out in the “bush” of Thailand I’m going experience some rough times. But I know God is using those trials to produce a quiet harvest of right living. (See Hebrews 12:11-13) And it’s all for His glory, not mine. He deserves my best and He wants what’s best for me. I can’t be the husband my future wife deserves and an amazing father to my future kids unless God is fully alive in me.
I totally understand everyone has their path, not all look like mine, and I completely respect that. However, there is no doubt I’m following the will of my heavenly father. My life is all about setting my eyes on Christ and putting Him first everyday. If I do that, everything else will take care of itself. That’s the greatest commandment we are asked to follow. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind.” (Matt. 22:37) Everyday I ask God, “how do I do that? How does that look?” I guarantee you folks, if you ask Him he’ll spend the rest of your life showing you.
Folks it’s just downright nuts how far the Lord has brought me since those days at college park back in ’95. Crazy times for sure, but a new journey is on the horizon and ole rjack is gone, see ya, bye on July 27th!
