I received breakthrough.
It wasn’t easy getting to this point, just read Wrecked Part 1.
But it happened.
As I was spending time with the Lord, I really felt that He had made the decision about going home for me. And as I shared with my team and sought after His heart, I realized that He wanted me to make a decision. So I did. I decided to stay and continue to serve Him and others. It was also during this time that I realized that I wasn’t walking in freedom and that I was letting lies control me. In my earlier post, I shared that I didn’t feel safe with my teams. Well that is my fault. I didn’t give them the change for them to fight for me. In a way, I was making decisions for them and by not sharing with them my feelings or being open and honest with them, I was further believing the lies that I wasn’t wanted. So one day during one of our team times, (we were doing listening prayer) I made a decision that will forever change my Race. I decided to share with my team everything that I had been feeling with Papa wanted me to go home but making the decision to stay, with stressing over finances. The response I got from my current team was amazing, They were encouraging, and understanding. They spoke life to where there was darkness and I saw the light. I saw that this is what true community is like, where we fight for each other.
The days following , I wanted to spend time with Papa but I was having a hard time waking up early so one of my teammates would keep me accountable and she’d wake me up if I wasn’t up and together we would spend time with Papa (separately) and then we would discuss it together. Things were slowly getting better but I was still missing something.
I woke up one day early and I was practicing the memory verse that I had picked for that week. IT was Romans 8:35-37 which says, ” What can separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, famine, nakedness, persecution, sword or danger? As it is written, ‘For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.’ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.”
And IT HAPPENED!!
What I believed with my mind of Him loving me, I FINALLY believed with my heart. Its like my mind and my heart connected and BAM!!
I understood.
I felt His love.
His love that is unconditional.
I don’t have to prove myself.
I don’t have to be anything but myself.
My past doesn’t bother Him.
HE LOVES ME!!! UNCONDITIONALLY.
And then He showed me that I was living in a victim mentality when I have been set free and my past does not define me. I was like a bird whose cage was open but I was still inside.
So after this realization, I made the decision to take that step and FLY into:
FREEDOM
And when I let go of my victim mentality I felt that I was…
A DAUGHTER TO THE KING OF KINGS
SO LOVED
TREASURED
FULL OF THE HOLY SPIRIT
HAPPY
Month 7 was a month of Breakthrough.
And I am ready to finish my Race strong walking in this new found freedom!!
