Journal Entry 12/16/15
Memories hurt.
Especially this one.
Your body is capable of taking on a lot of things even protecting you from yourself by shutting done a traumatic event. Now this traumatic event has been rediscovered.
And it hits you in the face. BAAM!!
Not caring how long its been or the consequences to follow.
It hits you like a torpedo hits its target. The explosion is a combination of pain, images and the realization of the truth.
boom!! BOom!! BOOMM!! to the tears that drop down your cheeks, the remnants of an internal war that's been declared.
Inside: you are welcomed by fear, pain and DENIAL!! Followed by more pain as the realization hits home and the walls come crumbling down.
One memory.
One word.
RAPE.
The word itself mocks you telling you that your story isn't important since it happened 8 years ago.
8 years of SILENCE is ENOUGH!!
Today you share.
Today you embrace what happened.
Today you Forgive yourself.
No matter how it started, a NO means NO!!
A No has power!!
My NO should of been listened to.
Today I speak.
This is my story. Hear me ROAR!!
Survivor Psalm
I have been victimized.
I was in a fight that was NOT a fair fight.
I did not ask for the fight.
I lost.
There is no shame in losing such fights.
I have reached the stage of survivor and am NO LONGER A SLAVE OF VICTIM STATUS.
I look back with sadness rather than hate.
I look forward with hope rather than despair
I may never forget, but I need not constantly remember.
I WAS a victim.
I AM A SURVIVOR.
"If you have been sexually assaulted, we are waiting, many strong, at the edge of the cave, in that space between light and dark, to meet you, to hear your stories, to acknowledge your truths, to stand beside you as you seek justice and healing, to raise our arm in protest with you and remind you–as you remind us—that love and beauty, like HOPE, cannot be stolen. We are shinning the light. Can you see it?"
Resources: (you can also find them in your specific area)
https://rainn.org/get-involved/rape-crisis-center-information
https://health.columbia.edu/svr-rape-crisisanti-violence-support-center-0
