How does one sum up all the wonderful things that happened during my time in India? It was a hard time where the Lord broke me in every way possible. I was uncomfortable with my team and with the ministries. I was insecure and afraid. But everything changed one day.
One day. It took Papa one day to bring to fruition everything I had been praying and seeking His face for. And I believe without a shadow of a doubt that everything that happened, all the pain, all the tears, was for this day.
What happened. It was a day like any other. Sun shinning, birds chirping, cows roaming around and cars beeping at every corner. It was a bittersweet day as it was close to our last day in India. My team and another were asked to prepare a skit for the concert later that night. The skit was well thought out and as we practiced I could feel that God was going to do something great. But I was in a bad mood and I had a major migraine. I felt like the whole world was going to collapse on me. As we kept practicing, I just couldn’t shake this feeling. Restfulness? Maybe? Expectation? Maybe? Fear? Possibly. I went about my day after skit practice like a zombie. Too numb to process everything that was hitting me at once. On of my squad leaders, Ashely, told me that Papa wanted me to raise up because my time had come. My time had come? What does that even mean? I then decided that I needed to practice the song that I was going to sign into American Sign Language. But as I was signing, the song didn’t feel right. So I scrolled through my itunes listening to this song and that and not being content until I came upon the song "Clear the Stage" By Jimmy Needham. As I was listening to the words, my soul stirred within me and my hands started doing what comes so naturally to them: signing. Instantly, this was the song, I was to share with everyone. We arrive at the venue early. We talk with people and get to know them. Some people I know from Fan Club (which was a youth gathering every Friday night that we had been going to) and others were completely knew to me. After about 10 min, worship started. All the songs were on point. The Spirit was present. People were dancing, clapping and jumping. I looked around and saw so many serene happy faces and I knew without a doubt that Jesus was present. I started jumping and dancing and praying asking Papa to reveal Himself to me in such a powerful way. I told Him that I want to speak in tongues, see in the spirit and be open to everything He has to offer. I was worship my Jesus and praying and suddenly, I hear weird words coming out of my mouth. And it that moment I realized that Papa answered. He was near. I was speaking in tongues. I was so happy that I was worshipping Papa even harder. As my turn came to perform, I asked the Holy Spirit to sign through me. And usually when the Holy Spirit is about to work in me, I get extremely nervous. And I was soo nervous. Like I was shaking. I get up and I perform this the song. I wasn't signing for the audience, I was in the zone. In the presence of God, of my Papa and I was having an intimate talk with Him through the beautiful language of ASL. (one of my squad mate recorded it). After I was done, we did the skit. It was like the Everything skit but tailored for India. The presence of Papa was so evident even through the skit.
The Climax. The message that came from my team leader Jeremy was simple. Come to Jesus, lay down your burdens. He started naming specific things that people were struggling with and encouraged us to come to the front and lay it before Jesus. He called out insecurities and fear and my head shot up. How did he know? Oh wait its Papa, calling me to Him. At first I was hesitant. What would others think? What would my team think? The call came again and this time I kinda flung myself on that floor and starting crying telling Papa that He can have my insecurities and my fear. And I felt Him so near, like He was petting my head telling me its ok. After I had cried and let it all out, I felt Papa leading me around the room to pray for people. And at this time, I was filled with the Spirit and speaking in tongues. He brought me to a young girl, who was crying and as I layed my hands upon her to pray, the Spirit took over. She also grabbed me and was holding tight to me and I was also holding her tight, praying in tongues and for the first time ever, I cried with her, for her, like I've never cried before. I have the gift of mercy and this was the first time it was manifested this way. But I can tell you that it wasn’t me holding her, or crying for her but Jesus!! And He used me to tell her how much He loved her, and to give all her insecurities to Him. She was crying even harder after that and so was I. It was an intense but beautiful thing. After the prayer was done, she lifted her head and said, "I have never felt so loved like I did today" and her smile…oh my…it was RADIANT!!! Because she experienced her Papas love for her.
India is where Papa broke me.
India is where Papa met me.
India is where my journey towards everything Papa has to offer beings.
"RISE UP DAUGHTER, YOUR TIME HAS COME."
