Quitting a Challenge?

                                                                     

A couple of months ago one of my fellow racers came up with a wonderful idea for a fundraiser: Hosting a 5K. I have never done anything like this, and yet the second I read this I knew it was something God wanted me to do. Answering His call I replied the following: “I am not sure what I am doing…but I am taking a leap of faith and saying YES! I’m in!” The second I clicked “send” I immediately regretted it. I began to feel a sense of anxiety….questions began to pop into my mind: “Can I REALLY do this!? Who would even run a 5K to support my cause? Do I even have the time??” Pshh…I can answer that last question immediately…NO.

With my response off into cyber space I knew I couldn’t go back and that I had made a commitment… I even posted post-its all over my room saying “Be Still and know I am God…” and phrases like: “He will never leave you… you can do this…. If God wants you to do this He will help you through it…” You get the point…my room had became a room filled with all of my positive thoughts splattered all over the walls… they were there…they were just…not in my heart exactly. I would read them every morning…but did I really believe them?

With the semester starting with a brutal work overload I quickly began to doubt this potential fundraiser… and just like that last week I had made up my mind that I could simply not do it. I gave up…which those of you who know me know that giving up is just not an option for me…so this was by far a hard decision and a shock. The truth is that I realized that I could not do it… and just like that I gave up on the idea and accepted  the reality of what I already know to be true…I am in no way perfect…therefore I had to accept this fact that I could not do this fundraiser. While this was a bad day for me when I decided to give up…looking back at it today I see it as a beautiful moment in my life now…and this is why….

… God broke me. Yes I was right…I could not pull this off….alone. I can however pull this off with His help. The day after I told my friend I could not do it (the first time I verbally said it which for me makes it real…!) I had another friend come up to me very excited about the 5K telling me he had started to prepare to run for my 5K and wanted to check when the date for it was. Seeing how excited he was I felt horrible and I expressed to him my doubts on it. He encouraged me in saying that he believed in me and that I could do it…yet that was not enough. That same day God gave me what I like to call a slap in the face sent from Him. I received an email from Kristina, a wonderful woman who had just hosted a successful 5K “A Run for Shelter” back in September. She had heard of me from Deana, another wonderful woman whom I have had the pleasure of sharing many of my mission experiences with. Kristina asked to meet with me excited to help me with what she could. Reading her email I knew that it was God and that it was his way of helping me… immediately I remembered what His promise was for us…”He will never leave you…He will never forsake you” There in front of me was an angel sent to help me….His promise being fulfilled for me.

Today I met with Kristina at my favorite little coffee shop. She encouraged me and gave me the confidence I needed to pull this off. Yes a lot of the information she gave me was enough to overwhelm me BUT… again I was reminded that I am not doing this alone. This is a community project that can unite a little town called Indiana. Talking to Kristina ideas began to overflow and come to me… maybe a 5K is not the best thing to do…but a Fun Run is! While I do not have the details ready for it now…. I know it is something that WILL happen.

I hope you can come along and join me in what will be a road of discovery for me as well. I CANNOT do this alone…therefore this run will be in most part me accepting a challenge… just know that YOU are part of His plan for me… and if you feel you can help in any way please feel free to be creative and tell me your ideas. As of now I am thinking a Fun Run with a theme of the number 11… a band, some food, ANTYHING! I would also like to partner with the Indiana County Library so that half of the proceeds can go to them. This fundraiser will then help raise funds for two causes: My World Race Mission AND the Indiana County Library who is struggling to stay open.