Testimony

We were asked to blog about how we were called to the Mission Field…so here is my story… sit back and enjoy!

 

                                                                  

                                                                  Sharing my testimony at the dump in Mexico

Let’s just say that it took me almost losing one of my best friends and a picture that God put in my dream that night that led me to the mission field; however, in order to get the full picture let’s take a journey back in time to when I was born…it was September 26, 1988…

                                             

Planting the Seed

Papicho had a great testimony of his own; he and my mom accepted the Lord at the same time, and the second he was baptized he made it his life goal to make our family his mission field. He lived to make sure we went to church, that we read our bibles, and most importantly that we learn to love each other and others the way God had taught him to love. Growing up, Papicho was the head of the family, and under his guidance everyone in our family went to church. At the time we attended Columbia Baptist Church; not only did we all attend, we all were very much involved. My mother and father were the directors of children’s ministries, my uncle Ronny taught Sunday school, my grandmother also taught Sunday school and she was also in charge of music. My grandfather was director of the head members of the church and my aunt Mayra was the secretary. Every Sunday after church we would all go to lunch together, whether it was at McDonalds or a fancy Mexican restaurant, it really did not matter. Actually, my favorite was when my uncle Ronny would prepare a big seafood feast and we would all go over someone’s house and hang out as a family. By the end of the night Papicho would gather all of us together and read us a passage from the bible… he lived for these moments…it was here when he was the happiest. Every Friday night we would also have bible study with other members from our church. All of us kids were not allowed in the living room when they would get together; however I was a-how can I say this- adventurous kid (?) so I would sneak out and see what it was they were doing. My grandfather had the gift of healing…I loved watching him do this. It was through Papicho that the seed was planted in my heart…waiting to grow throughout the years…  

                                          

                                                

It was the day of our homecoming and my sister and I were getting ready to go! I was 13 at the time and my sister was 15. All of a sudden, my sisters’ phone rang- it was my mother. A couple of minutes later we had someone come pick us up and drive us to the hospital where Papicho was laying…helplessly. He had suffered a heart attack and a stroke while he was driving, and now he was there…in a hospital bed. I remember thinking that was his death bed… and it tore me apart. Then, I finally got a moment with him; I went up to him and I put one arm under his neck and held him. I remember praying for him, just like he had done for me 13 years ago, and then I made him a promise that till this day has been the best promise I have made; I promised him that I would continue the fight for him. All I knew was that having us go to church and follow the Lord made him the happiest person in the world, and while I did not understand exactly why that was, I was determined to find out what was so special about this God he believed in and continue what he lived for…and that was to have all of his children come to know the Lord.

 

                                                                  

                                                                                       His Smile…

Papicho lived a year after the accident; in his last year of life he had lost his ability to speak, and movement on one of his arms. He also lost some memory. On May 21, 2004 my Papicho left this world to join our permanent home in heaven. The morning he left us, my mother came to see him one last time…she said he had the biggest smile on his face…Papicho died smiling! We believe it was because he smiled the moment he saw God come for him… he died in Peace.

I wish I could tell you that after that moment I became this big radical Christian and began to live my life by faith…yet that was not the case. I had no idea what I had promised exactly…but it did haunt me. I began to search for answers; I tried going back to church, yet no one would come with me. My mother had left us for some time, and so my sister went back to live with my father and I went to live with Jennifer and her family. My father had tried to start building a relationship with me again, yet it was not perfect. While he tried, he also continued to hurt me emotionally in the sense that he was not there anymore like he was when we were younger…something I had to get use to. At such a young age, and being left by people whom I trusted the most, I began to make a simple prayer; I began to ask God to harden my heart. I did not want to feel rejection, I did not want to give anyone else the chance to hurt me…and so my heart began to harden. With all of these distractions, I was in no way considering going to college; I simply did not have the grades or the motivation. Fortunately, Jennifer was on the right track…and she, along with my teachers and my school counselor pushed me to get into AP classes and apply for college. They all believed in me, and not one of them gave up. I went from being a D student to getting B’s! I remember one of my teachers telling me that college would be the key to getting me out of Arlington, and become more independent. That is exactly who I wanted to become! I strived for this and made it to graduation! Not only did I make it to graduation, but I had been accepted to my number one choice of college…Indiana University of Pennsylvania…key word here..PENNSYLVANIA. Throughout this time my counselor, Mr. Clisham pushed me to apply for a scholarship and I got it…! I finally had my ticket out of Arlington…but it was not so easy. At this point, my nephew Mikey had just been born, the relationship between my father and I had gotten a little better, and my friends meant everything to me…and now, I had to leave them. One thing was true…at this point in my life I still had no idea what it meant to have a relationship with God…the only relationship I had been working on had been between me and alcohol… and since Papicho had planted that seed, it was that seed that seed that did not let me stay in Arlington, yet gave me the courage to leave.

The day came when I had to leave Arlington and move to IUP…three and a half hours from everything I knew. The first day at IUP, I met a guy named Andrew. He was a freshman as well from a small town in Pennsylvania. He asked me a question I had not been asked for a very long time…he asked me if I was a Christian. By this point I believed in God, and I knew the difference between heaven and hell; yet I also knew that being a Christian meant, in my mind, being…boring. Regardless, I said yes…not knowing what that meant. Andrew invited me to attend Grace United Methodist with him…a church he had found here in town. Needless to say, I avoided him all that semester. Each Sunday morning he would either be at my door or call me, and I would not answer or I would make up some silly excuse. He never gave up. Winter break came and I had succeeded in not making it to church not once!

Hitting Rock Bottom

During my first winter break, I was really excited to go back to Arlington and see all of my old friends. It did not take long before I went back to my old ways and began to pick up my old habits of drinking and smoking. What did not help was that going back I got to see how divided my family really was. My sister was now living with her fiancé Andrew, my mother was living with her fiancé Luis, and my dad was living with his fiancé Paula; they all had built families of their own…while I still considered my family to be the four of us. In order to forget this, and since my heart was a little hardened by this point, I made my friends my family… one of them being liqour. One night, one of my best friends asked me if she could come to a New Year’s party with me. When we got to the party she began to drink…a lot. She was not use to drinking… yet because I was drinking a lot myself I did not care to watch her. Needless to say, that night I almost lost her…at least that is how it felt. I found her in a bathroom unconscious. I quickly sobered up and yelled out for help. This was one of the scariest moments of my life; there on the floor was one of my best-friends, in such a horrible condition because of me…because of drinking. After taking care of her and taking her home, I finally fell asleep. It was here where God painted a picture in my mind…a picture that reveled His love for me.

The picture was of me as a young girl…maybe around the age of 5 years old. I am walking on a zip line just about to fall…but I don’t…coming from above, I can see God’s hand holding on to mine. It is His hand that keeps me from falling; it has been His hand that has kept me from falling…it has been God who has kept me from falling. This picture said so many things to me…it helped me realize that He has never left me, that throughout all of my childhood he was there, and he continues to walk with me…holding onto my hand. How amazing! The next morning I knew something in me had changed…and I knew I had to continue that change… the second I got back to IUP…I called Andrew and I asked him if I could go to church with him…ironically he was not in town that Sunday…but that did not stop me.

Coming Back to the Heart of Worship

That Sunday morning I attended Grace United Methodist church. Honestly…it was the most uncomfortable situation in my life. I had not step foot in a church for years… I had especially not worshiped. Yet…God has a way of speaking to us, and that morning he spoke to me. Pastor Brad came up and he mentioned a mission trip the church was taking to Tennessee. He said 3 key things: 1) Tennessee (a state I had yet to visit…I could check this one off my list!) 2) It was during Spring Break…which meant it was the perfect excuse to not go back to Arlington and fall back into my old ways, and 3) It was free! I signed up and on April 2007 I went on my first mission’s trip!

 

                    

 

Once again, I wish I could say that after this mission trip I became this radical Christian and believer…but I did not. I still fell a couple of times, but at this point God was already working on my heart. Every time I went back to my old ways, I would feel bad… and eventually I began to lose friends. At the same time, God put people in my life that helped guide me to Him. It was through Grace that I met Tim and Sandy Toy, who became my ‘adoptive’ parents here in Indiana. It was also through Grace that I met my best friend Leah and many other amazing people. I began to get more involved, and then…God had my second mission trip prepared…Mexico. This mission trip prepared me for the summer that was ahead of me…a summer only God knows how much I grew…my first summer with TEAMeffort in Eureka Springs, Arkansas.

Growing through TEAMeffort

 

                                      

I found out about TEAMeffort through Leah. Ironically, we were put on the same staff together with 4 others who became my family: Will, Joy, Heather and Brad. The six of us were sent to Eureka Springs, Arkansas that summer for two months. It was here that God began to truly break me down and made me face things I was not ready to face…mainly the relationship between my father and I. It was during this summer that God made me witness true miracles! It was during this summer that I shared my testimony for the first time ever. The feeling of reaching others through our stories filled me with such joy! Watching how so many kids accepted God because of our testimonies was incredible…I began to realize that there was nothing more rewarding than this…telling my story for the glory of brining hope to others. My relationship with God grew so much that summer, and I slowly began to let myself die, and let Him take over. It was the best feeling ever! To have such strong faith that He has control of your life now and to know that no matter what challenges are put in your life He can get you through them because you were meant to go through them…knowing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel…THIS is what Papicho wanted to share! It was during this summer that it finally clicked…and I finally realized what Papicho was living for!

Keeping the Promise

After this summer, I became a new person… a new creation. Instead of asking God to harden my heart, I began to ask him to soften it…to let my heart break for what breaks His. I also began to pray to be used as his instrument…and till this day this continues to be my main prayer. I went back to Mexico, and it was during this mission trip that God began to train me, and challenge me even further. I was asked to translate during this trip for the entire group… I was the only one who spoke Spanish. It was during this trip that I found myself translating 4 different testimonies in a Mexican jail; it was in this trip that I found myself translating a prayer between Sherry Steele and an older Mexican lady who lived in the dump; and it was in this trip that God taught me one of the biggest lessons I have learned…it is not about me…it is about them…it is about Him.

                      

After Papicho passed away my family stopped talking to each other. Two years ago, while I was serving the Lord somewhere in the world, I received a call that my entire family was going to get together for my cousin Karla’s sweet fifteen. This was the first time in 3 years that everyone was together, in the same room. That Thanksgiving everyone got together again…and something amazing happened…something I think only I noticed. My uncle Ronny prayed before dinner; it was the first time since I was 10 that we prayed together as a family. Throughout the years I have not given up on my family and the miracle that someday we will all go back to church again. I pray for this every day, and God has begun to respond. Not so long ago I received a call from my cousin Raquel, who is one year younger than I am and…as you can imagine was my partner in crime when we were younger. She had found her way back to God, and her heart was breaking just like mine to have our family go back as well. I believe this is only the beginning. As far as the relationship between my father and I…well it is better…and while I do have a guard up, I believe there is only room for improvement, and I know that no matter what…I do love him very much.

So…how is my walk with God now?

I believe I was called to bring my family back. I believe that while it took me leaving them in order to show them God’s grace and love, by going into the mission field and accepting God’s call they have seen how great our God is; not only them but others as well (hopefully!). I have accepted His call and this is where He has lead me. It has not been easy I must say…and this is why. I no longer struggle much with physical temptations as far as drinking and smoking. I am now facing a much deeper struggle and battle…and that is a spiritual warfare battle. The more I follow the Lord, the more I am being attacked. However, I pray each day that God prepares me with the armor of God and trust that He will get me through this too. I can honestly say that I am currently living that life He has promised us…a life so much better than what we ever had planned for ourselves…a life we could hardly imagine. This past summer, at 21 years of age, I had the opportunity through TEAMeffort to go serve the people of my country: Guatemala. I was able to bring in over 100 volunteers to my country and guide them in serving and spreading the word of God to my people…this is just a small glimpse of the life God has prepared for me. And now…I am about to leave everything behind, all of my comforts, my friends, my family. I am taking another step of faith and trusting that He will provide. 11 countries in 11 months? Bring it on!