We sang a song throughout Training Camp that I call, “The River Song”
“Take me out to the middle of the river, I wanna drown in the good ole’ river of your love.”
Here are some of the things that I found in the river at TC:
1. Found my stanky in the river. Not stinky. Stinky is good. This is stank, like straight up funk. You reach level stank when parts on your body begin to sweat that you never knew possible. For example: “since when do my elbows drip sweat? This is new to me.” The good part is that everyone smells the same and you begin to only notice the good smells, like when someone takes a bucket shower.
2. Found my perseverance in the river. I would be lying if I said these 10 days were not extremely stretching. I was pushed physically, far more than I ever thought possible. I questioned my motives for being there. I questioned the false self image I had created and came to some harsh realizations. It would have been so easy to quit. It was the overwhelming feeling of accomplishment, and the decision to push through, persevere, and finish strong that made these 10 days worth it.
3. Found my joy in the river. On the opposite end of the perseverance, I experienced extreme joy in the process. I found joy in the community. I found joy in the nature I was surrounded by. I found joy in the music. I found joy in my team. I found joy in the change.
4. Found my freedom in the river. It is amazing thing to be freed when you weren’t expecting to be. Free from make-up, social media, shame, and worldly idols. I had no idea there were things built up from my past that were binding me and hindering my relationship with the Lord. I’ve learned that freedom is a process, a beautiful one I might add. We were not created to be slaves of this world, but to thrive in it.
5. Found my leaders in the river. I have told everyone that X-Squad got the best of the best when it comes to our leadership. Our mobilizer, Squad Mentor, Coaches,Squad leaders, and everyone who invested in us made this whole experience come together in a magical way. They exuded love from the minute we stepped foot at camp. They set a strong example of how to do this thing right. I felt at home with every single one of them. I am so thankful to the Lord for placing them in my life.
6. Found my peace in the river. There were many occasions that I allowed my self to “be still” and was overcome with peace. It could be during worship, watching the sunset, in my tent, or surrounded by others. I learned to stop and take in the moment and realize all God has to offer me. There is great peace in the journey.
7. Found my danger in the river. What do you get when you have a group of 250 young adults on fire for Jesus in the same are for 10 days? Danger. We left camp understanding who we are and our purpose. We are aware of the enemy and his plan to attack, but will not quit. When you put all of this together, you have an unstoppable army.
8. Found my vulnerability in the river. My one prayer going into training camp was to allow myself to be vulnerable. I remember sitting in a small group at the women’s retreat, and hearing one of my squadmates apologize for being so vulnerable. Our squad mentor (shout out Ash Fran) said something that changed the course of my thoughts on this topic. She said, “Don’t ever apologize for being vulnerable. We are not scared of what you have to say or what you’ve been through. We’re not going anywhere.” The Lord was definitely using her to speak to the surrounding hearts. Why are we so scared to be vulnerable? I think for me it has always been equivalent to weakness. Isn’t it funny though how the Lord’s strength is made perfect in our weakness! There is power in vulnerability.
9.Found my family in the river. I did not expect to connect with so many people in such a short amount of time. X-Squad is full of intentional, hard-working world changers. This squad defines the word unity. They love deeply. I can’t even imagine my life without these crazies. We came as stranger and left as family.
10.Found My Dreams in the river. “The American dream is too small for me, I have kingdom dreams.” I don’t need a 9-5 job. I don’t need the perfect career. I don’t need material items, nor do I long for them anymore. I long for a world that is passionately seeking the face of Jesus. I long for souls saved. I long for an impact greater than this world. I long for the Great Commission.
11. Found my Father in the river. Jesus met us at training camp. He pursued every single person there. He created unity. He spoke to us in different way. I left there understanding that I am not just a servant of the Lord, but a daughter of the Most High. I know that He is a good father, who will provide for his children. I know now that there is nothing too big for Him. I know I have heard my Sheppard’s voice. I know that I am where I am supposed to be.
I could never begin to tell you everything that I experienced in the good ole’ river, but I hope this encourages you even more about my upcoming journey. I have never been more confident about what I am doing and who I’m doing it with.
If you have a minute and want to know more, watch this video created by my lovely squadmate Victoria Baxter.
