I honestly have come to the point on this race where I feel that I cannot go on. I feel so drained physically, spiritually and emotionally that I have wondered how I will even finish this. I realize my perception of suffering needs some serious help and how when we are weak the evil one continues to steal, kill and destroy.
I think of the term of being a defensive driver and it’s almost as if I need to learn to be a defensive prayer warrior with the evil one’s schemes. As there has been so much pruning, drawing out of wrong thought patterns and habits these past 8 months, the devil tries to continually trap me in the things that once were so much a part of me.
2 Corinthians 12:8-10 says, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and I in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
I’m very weak, in every area, I stumble and fall, sin is entangling, I lie in self-pity when things get hard, and I’m learning how to resist the devil (James 4:7) so that he will flee from me. I knew from the beginning of this race that I would never make it through this on my own and God continually reminds me it’s not me it is Him who makes me strong. And so I say Philippians 3:12b-14, “But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sister, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead. I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.”
Because when my eyes are not fixed on Jesus, I focus on all that is around me, the situations, and the problems. And then I lose focus on the truth, and the truth is what sets us free and it is the only thing that is unchanging and unwavering.
“You are free in Christ, but you will be defeated if the devil can deceive you into believing you are nothing more than a sin-sick product of your past. Nor can Satan do anything about your position in Christ, but if he can deceive you into believing what the Scripture says isn’t true, you will live as though it isn’t. People are in bondage to the lies they believe. “
Neil T. Anderson
John 8:32 Jesus said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. “
The truth is of my identity is found in Romans 8:15-16, “So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him Abba, Father. For his spirit joins with our spirit to AFFIRM that WE ARE GOD’s CHILDREN.”
