There sometimes seems that there might be a point where I have reached a standing point with getting rid of the filth in my life. But God who is continually growing me has continued it even at the least expected times.
It began way back in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. I had an incident with a few of my teammates and a few things were brought out of me that I had never seen. I evaluated the feelings I felt: unaccepted and my worth was devalued. A stronghold began to come out and take over my thoughts and attitude. God used these teammates to bring something that was ugly within me so that I could see it. I honestly had no idea what to do with all the feelings and the way my mind was processing the incident. I prayed and asked God in his due time to guide me with what to do.
Fast forward to debrief in Ko Samed Island. I was challenged to give up the very thing my mind was hanging onto; a stronghold in my mind called the spirit of rejection.
I was recommended to read a bit of a book called The Three Battlegrounds. In it a stronghold is identified as a spiritual fortress where in Satan and his legions hide and are protected. Fortresses exist in our thought patterns or ideas and govern individuals, families, churches, communities and even nations. ¡°The energies we expend in keeping our sins secrets are the actual ¡°materials¡± of which a stronghold is made. The demon you are fighting is actually using your thoughts to protect his access to your life.¡±
After numerous incidences of feeling more rejection and never being able to feel the love of someone close to me, I realized God was pulling this spirit up to the surface for me to get rid of this pattern of thoughts. In a situation where I felt so alone and rejected I cried out to God and He answered me.
Our H- Squad coach Mike guided me through a process of asking God to free my mind from this spirit of rejection. During this process as God swept clean my mind and the place the spirit had controlled, God showed me the pain he felt as I had continually battled this and He confirmed to me that I needed change.
I had always known my heart belonged to Jesus but my mind battled with the enemy desiring to have a stronghold. God showed me that my heart and my mind needed to coincide; both needed to be surrendered to God. Romans 6:13-14 ¡°Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead give yourselves completely to God; for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God. Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead you live under the freedom of God¡¯s grace.¡±
I was baptized that same day- I felt the rebirth Jesus spoke of with Nicodemus but with my mind. And I felt for the first time ever in my life my mind, my heart; my whole self was completely surrendered to God.
And I share with you all this because I am so thankful that God is so merciful to me, to you, and to each of us.
Our hearts, our minds, our bodies can serve for either good or bad- leading us to surrender fully to God or to let strongholds take over.
Romans 8:6 ¡°So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.¡±
