Our
team has had a really hard time it seems getting over the initial
awkwardness of getting to know each other. I feel like for the first
three months we were really shallow with one another and last month
we were split up which made it rather difficult to deal with things.
So, considering our current state of affairs we prayed about it and
felt God leading us to spend the majority of our time this month
ministering to each other.
I think one of the major
hindrances for me is trust. During my time in Thailand God really
started speaking to my heart about it. He brought before me the fact
that this is why I’ve been so closed off from the team. Basically
what it comes down to is if I don’t trust these people, ultimately,
I’m not trusting God. I’m saying He didn’t know what He was doing
when He placed me here with these individuals. Which is silly because
I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God brought me where I am and
I know I’m suppose to be on this team so why is it so hard for me to
trust that God has my best interests at heart.
When I think of all this on
worldly terms it’s easy for me to only see the times I’ve been hurt
by others and use that as an excuse to be superficial. As I kept
lifting all this up, God kept reminding me how He was faithful in
those times and how He worked it all out for good. So, God has
brought me to a point of laying it all down again and just trusting
Him with the people He’s put me with this year. I know it’s not their
intent to hurt me in any way but even so, God has placed them in my
life to help me grow in the good and bad situations.
All this to say I think we’ve come
a long way this month. God is continuing to teach us as a team how to
best glorify Him in the way we work with each other. It’s still a
challenge but He’s also helping me to trust on a deeper level. I know
I still have a ways to go but I think we’ve all taken a step in the
right direction.
