This month my team is in Vietnam and since stepping foot in this country I could feel that something was wrong in my walk. I constantly found myself becoming easily irritated with people in circumstances where I normally would not. I could feel my "spiritual tank" starting to run low and with each passing day I could feel it getting lower and lower. I tried to act like everything was ok but it wasn't, I wasn't hearing from God and I could literally see areas where I was beginning to operate out of my own strength. It was very draining and I knew that something needed to change.
My team prayed for me and that night I felt that God was telling me to take a "play" from Moses's play book. I was to desire the Presence of the Almighty more than anything. Moses was a man of Presence, he desired The Lord and I was to do the same.
Exodus 33:14-16 (ESV)
14 And he (God) said, "My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest." 15 And he (Moses) said to him, "If your presence will not go with me, do not bring us up from here. 16 For how shall it be known that I have found favor in your sight, I and your people? Is it not in your going with us, so that we are distinct, I and your people, from every other people on the face of the earth?"
Simply put if God wasn't going than neither was Moses. I want that for my life, I want to desire His Presence more than anything else because He is worthy and in His Presence is fullness of joy. I want to be distinguished by His abundant Presence in my life to where I radiate His glory to the nations and they return to Him.
Today I was tossing a half inflated basketball with some kids who have cerebral palsy and I found His Presence once again. Their laughter was so contagious as pure joy was radiating from their smiles and giggles. It broke my heart to see these children who at first glance all seemed hopeless. Where my fleshly eyes looked and only saw hopelessness my spiritual eyes saw hope and the whisper of God, "My Presence is here."
I never again want to feel far from His Presence, it's what my spirit longs for, nothing else will satisfy. I only want to serve Him from the overflow of filling up in His Presence so that the love I give is not my own and will have a lasting impact.
God doesn't respond to need, He responds to Faith.
-Robert
Quick update: I am now at the halfway point of this journey and this month I have been doing a lot of painting and finding other ways to contribute to what The Lord is doing. Special shout out to all my prayer warriors out there, thank you all so much for your prayers and support I couldn't do this without you, y'all are awesome!
