For the first several nights of camp, we had the absolute amazing blessing of being led in worship by Jonathan David Helser. In one of his songs, the chorus says “I’ve seen ‘I AM’ and now I know who I am.” In other words, we can know truly who we are once we see God. This song became more of my favorite after God showed me who I was.
One of the nights, Mike Paschall, a pastor and a friend of the World Race, gave his testimony. Basically, long story short, he struggled with attachment issues, and these issues affected his relationship with his two young daughters. One night, he discovered an issue in his past that caused these problems. Through prayer and forgiveness, he was freed from these struggles.
After the talk, we had a time of prayer. Knowing I needed prayer, I went to a guy on staff, Braedon Tabor. I asked for prayer for freedom from the sin of lust. Without going into detail (gotta keep it family friendly), lust has been a major struggle of mine. And while I’ve seen absolutely miraculous growth in this area in the past few months, I still didn’t consider myself free from it. So Braedon began praying for me, and God began speaking. I had known before that often, I seek after lust for emotional satisfaction. But it became more real to me in other areas of my life that night. I realized that I truly do struggle with insecurity around other people. I love to be funny (and I’m pretty darn good at it, thank you. haha), which is great. God has given me that gift, and I can use it for Him. The problem is I find too much of my confidence in being the funny guy. So I feel like I’m struggling to word what I’m trying to say so I’m just gonna end by quoting what I wrote in my journal about it all that next morning.
“I am a beloved child of God. I am a strong man of God. I can find all my confidence in who I am in Christ. I don’t have to be funny. I don’t have to be real talkative. I am a unique creation of God. I can be confident in being who God has made me to be. I don’t have to try to find emotional satisfaction in lust or anything else but Christ. Christ loves me. That is enough.”
But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peope for his own posession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.”
1 Peter 2:9
