Tonight is December 2007, family and friends surround me
with their laughter, love, and memories of old. As I glance throughout the room, no one knows that I am yet a
boy inside who is full of shame, adventures yet to be conquered, failures, sorrow,
un-forgiveness, joy, regrets, excitement, and it happens to be a week before I
leave for the Worldrace. As I sit alone in my bedroom and ponder of what to
title this empty black journal-it waits to be filled with thoughts of hope for
the nations, love for my friends and family, repentance of the past and present,
anger of just dying to self and not knowing how to ‘deal’ with it, brokenness, praises
to my God, wonders of my God, questions of life, and so much more…and before I
know it, the title reveals itself as, “My Own First Book of Acts.”
In these moments, I wrote a prophetic declaration–Not for 11
months…but my life.
A new night has approached – it is February 19th,
2011; the strange familiarity from beads of sweat rolling down my forehead and
barking dogs in the background, I embrace Ecuador! I find myself surrounded by
yet another group of men and women who have chosen to give up their way of life
back in America because in the depth of them, they are not satisfied by what
they have always known and been taught in their walk with God and I am in AWE
of the Ancient of Days. I am not that boy so many years ago tonight; I am a man
passionately seeking the face of God.
This is my 2nd Squad to lead and my 3rd
time on the Worldrace and each time, God reveals himself completely different. Honestly,
I never asked any of this from God: To lead men older and younger than I into
their own identities in Christ, to call them out in hard moments, to challenge
them daily to walk into their destinies, and to love them beyond my own self-
but little by little God has awoken me, shaken my spirit, and tweaked my heart
to beat more like His own which has lead me to this place.
Tonight in Ecuador, V squad is my inheritance of which I desperately
want to know the Fathers love, touch, character, grace, and so much more in
intimate ways so that they will walk in confidence and in the mystery of God all
the days of their life.
(V Squad in Quito, Ecuador)
I could write on and on, but I will not. In fact, I will
share a few chocolates of what God has been showing and speaking to me lately.
1.
II know that I am not perfect nor will ever claim
to be, but I do know that I bear the image of God and hold life/death in my
words. This is where God started to place a higher standard upon my life. It
began with seeking out a verse or chapter to proclaim over this squad and God
lead me to 1 Peter 1 and 2. As I read that and dove deeper into this, the Holy
Spirit spoke to me about being a man of holiness… I am just beginning to work
on this, but I will give you some thoughts to maybe understand clearer: I
believe that I have become very comfortable and honestly disillusioned of my
own actions, thoughts, words, and what I do on a daily basis, etc. The reasons
could be numerous because of the world I live in, by being exposed to junk
through media, and the lack of ‘demand’ on our lives from the church body could
have some affect on this. I believe that we let things slide WAY too much
because of the fear of confrontation or calling someone out to a higher
standard. So, the Lord has just been speaking to me and saying that if I desire
to be more like Him, then be ready to give up things that I have always thought
were ‘okay’ and in all actuality are not because, “He is holy,” and has asked
us to be Holy with Him- which is deep. I do not walk in legalism and law so
please do not read that, this is just a place of being willing to let more of
“me” die and become more Him. It is a challenge and I do not know reasons why
He has asked me of this, but I know it is to put a demand on men around me my
whole life, and that I trust God with what He does with this.
2. Intercession: Oh man, this is crazy. On the 4th
day in the Dominican Republic, I heard the Lord speak about becoming a man of
Intercession. I freaked out because I love my sleep and other selfish reasons.
This has not been the #1 thing I have ever desired or wanted, but in a very
peculiar way it has because I have witnessed the power of Prayer through my
life. Little by little, I am starting on this new path… just last night the
Lord woke me up and pushed me out of the bed to go into prayer for His people
and other matters…so, here I go with God.
These are only two things, but it is enough to
update you. Know the Lord is doing a lot in me, and it is good. I am on
overload half the time but I am excited about what God is doing. I am witnessing men come alive quick on
this squad and stepping out into manhood while claiming their own place with
Christ, healings are breaking out with random people we meet along the way,
people are being set free from years of demonic bondage, and so much more
greatness is happening- but the most important of all is the Love of Christ
people are experiencing and how radically it is changing them.
Prayer is huge in this season of life for someone on the
race and I ask that you continually pray for V squad and myself daily.
Again, thanks for the love and support always…you are a
crucial part in my journey.
Para Ecuador,
Robby
