Life Seems Like Chapters of Goodbyes…

 

I recently came off the field completely different than
all the other times before. I am still not sure that I am able to sit and
convey to people what I walked through by shepherding 55 men and women for 5
months, but I do know these: I grew up a little more, identified more ‘rubbish’ in me to let
God have, I know deeper in my soul that God is my Father and I am His Son- and that
I am loved deeply, which brings me to… I AM madly in love with GOD and I
honestly want to walk by Faith in my life (a little nerve racking at times but well
worth it).

 

I have now been home since May 11^th and for the
first 3 weeks I took care my mom who had surgery (Thank you for praying for
her, she is doing much better now) and it was such an honor to be able to take
care of her, chill with family, hang out with old friends, laugh, and just share
my heart with them all… but this time…I knew that God was starting to ask for
MORE.  

 

I told one of my best friends recently that my first week
and a half of being back has been some of the hardest in a long time. In 2008,
I walked through a year of brokenness and now… my heart is rendered in
such a way of the broken hearted before God -that it calls me to be in a
vulnerable state with Him…always wanting to listen to His voice. Honestly, some
of these things hit me blindsided and I had to deal with them and not run, which
so many times I have in the past. Admitting things in your self (heart) I
believe is sometimes the hardest thing to do as a man. It hurt to admit some
truths and by doing this- it opened the door for the past to pounce in mocking
…once again-, this time though was not an issue because I KNEW I was redeemed, and
the devil has nothing on me as Son of God-but it brought me to a place knowing
that I need to always have my armor on. So, here I was, entering back ‘home’
and really excited of what I have seen God do in 55 men and women…and without a
notice or hint, I was once again seeking God for some major direction/help in
many avenues in life.

 

Desperately seeking Him.

 

Believe this or not…I have never fasted and for the first
time in my life, I felt the Spirit leading me to fast and so I did…for multiple
reasons. And it was completely amazing.

 

After I was ‘released’ from feeding mom grapes and fanning
her with palm branches every day (ok, joke- but not the grape part), I went to
visit Josh and Tara Bruce for 10 days in Georgia and it was an incredible time.

 

One specific day, Josh drove straight to the core of me
and started asking “those” questions. ‘Those’ that really make you look at your
heart, admit ‘those’ things, and say ‘those words’, etc. I needed this for
myself and Josh is gifted in asking and approaching a person with love and
grace, so to answer him was simple. As we began to converse about life and such,
God showed up- Josh asked a deep question and one of ‘those’ prayers that I was
praying…came out of me as if I had known my whole life. I told him… “I have been
praying about my next step in life…and Josh- where God is asking me to go and
do…is actually great, coupled with a lot of risk and unknowns but for some
reason I struggle with saying yes to God this time,” and as I continued, I
said, “This was/is the place in me realizing that; I will leave my family who I
dearly love for a long period of time, the possibility of my brother and
sister-in-law having their first child, ‘loosing’ relationships a long the way
(lets admit…it happens), the missing out on those family get together
happenings that I really like … and so much more.” All these things were
building up in me causing doubts, fears, but worse… that Still, Small voice was
being over shadowed and if I recall, the Lord asked if I were willing to give
everything up to  —–Follow Him.

 

So, here I am today- in the smoldering heat of Texas and
yet… another chapter of goodbye is approaching, but I am confident in this that
the Lord is faithful, He is good, and I will trust Him for life.

 

Now, for you to know- I am making a long-term (2-3 years)
commitment to move to Spain and be apart of G42 in a much bigger way. I will be
writing more blogs soon to share what this looks like, etc. I will be mailing
you a few things, calling and sharing my heart/vision- but do know this- you
are my support system and mostly that where I am at today and where I am going
is by:

 

1.    
Jesus Christ

 

AND

 

     2. All of you, who have supported me in the years past and
recently. You are my ‘support belt’ of which I am able to go and live out my
dreams and visions!

 

Thank you is not enough and as I begin this new chapter in
my life, I want to celebrate what God has done, is doing in the world, and what
He will be doing in those lives around me and in you in the years to come!

 

Grace and Peace

 

Robby Riggs