3:30-3:45 AM my alarm goes off several times in between groggy snooze button visits. I get to work, bag some pastries, laugh with co-workers, make some high-in-calorie coffee beverages and serve guests.
"Oh. No whip, Sir? I'm sorry about that. I'll remake it right way."
"Your normal quad venti mocha? It'll be at the window for ya!"…
And for about 8 hours I learn and adapt to what guests want (decaf, nonfat, stirred, splenda, etc…), what my manager needs from me, and what my co-workers workers work best with…
Point is, I adapt. I, like everyone else, observe the world around me and assess the situation at hand. I've done it all my life and up until just recently I saw it as an asset. I have somehow turned this adaptation into a defense mechanism. I find out what you like and what she wants and what he needs and then I follow suit. I figure out what you like and I pretend to like it a little more than I actually do so that I seem more interesting. I try so hard to discover what she wants and what he needs and do and say it so that they wont leave. So that you wont leave.
I've become a chameleon; too afraid to sit in my own colour for too long. I dance around my words and sprinkle nice thoughts and sweet comments into my conversations in hopes that you'll enjoy my company and stick around.
And it's fake. And it's ugly. And that's all I have to say about that.
