I’m currently sitting in Seronga, a small village in Botswana, where the nearest grocery store is 2
hours away and where our ministry host shot and killed a black mamba on our first day (for-reals, never in my life did I ever think I would get my little hands on a freshly killed black mamba). ‘Round here, donkeys are a popular form of transportation, you get used to the bugs crawling and flying all around you, it takes 30 minutes to try and open your e-mail (if you’re lucky that it’s even working), and we are also right next to the Okavango Delta, where hippos and crocodiles inhabit the waters and where Batswana people can be spotted filling their buckets to on carry home (often times, balancing it all on their heads).
But before I go on about Botswana, I’m pretty sure I need to take two very big steps back.
I’m sitting here trying to sort through my stories and my thoughts, scrambling to figure out a way to share with you how my past 3 months in Africa have been (writer’s block, fo-sho). It’d be too much to share everything I’ve learned from these past 3 months in one post, so I will do my best to break them down into three different parts… which means, you probably won’t hear about South Africa until next year. 😉
The word for this month in Botswana has been confidence.
The word for last month in South Africa was freedom.
But let me go back to November. Let me go back to Swaziland.
Our very first month in Africa.
(song in the video above was made by my beautiful sister, Reinna Sherie. She took the poem that I wrote in my last post and made it into this song, surprising me with it for Christmas– love!)
Swaziland gifted me with many sweet fruits: singing and dancing with children, a Thanksgiving celebration (thanks to the Malloys and the Spraggs, missionary families from America who made us feel like home away from home), and many Christmas outreaches and parties in the villages. But, really, if I were to sum up what I learned in Swaziland with one word? My word would be weakness.
This month was a hard one for me primarily because of the changes that took place. Not only did we make the transition from Asia to Africa, but we also had our first team changes. Part of that change for me was being asked to be a raised up squad leader, along with my two other squad mates, Jack and Sam. What does that mean? Aside from being involved with ministry every month with a team, our squad is now our ministry. Leadership was never on my heart coming onto the World Race (that can be a whole blog in itself). But you know what? I love it now because the Lord has used it to teach me, to rebuke me, to mold me, to open my eyes to gifts He had waiting for me, and even to set me free.
At the end of the day, I’ve realized that leadership should never hold you up above. Ever. I’ve learned that leadership is synonymous with servanthood. Leadership is a partnership with the Lord. Leadership means coming under and alongside people to serve them, encourage them, and to follow the Holy Spirit’s leading in walking in love, in calling out the darkness, in speaking life.
Leadership has taught me that it’s okay to be weak.
After our alumni squad leaders (Bethany and Chrissy) asked me to step into this new role of squad leading, I remember saying to them, “but I’m too weak!” Bethany responded without hesitation! She straight up declared, “BE WEAK, RICHELLE! IT’S OKAY TO BE WEAK. GOD WANTS YOU TO BE WEAK.”
I mean, I painfully met with my helplessness and my weaknesses in Nepal, but I feel that the Lord used Swaziland to remind me of what I learned on the first month of the Race: to be weak.
And this time around, this was the very first time someone has ever said it to my face.
This was the first time someone told me to be weak. And it hit me.
Weak? My Father in Heaven wants me to BE WEAK? I couldn’t stop thinking about it for a few days.
If I’m going to be ME, me isn’t strong. Me is completely weak. And I used to feel like I had to mask this weakness. Sometimes, the enemy still tricks me into thinking that a mask would be better. But you know what? In Swaziland, I found that God asks us to be weak. He asks us to not only be weak, but to boast in our weaknesses. Do you see that!? God asks us to freaking BOAST in our weaknesses. Not just to be aware of them, but to expose them to people, to bring them to the light, to make them known! Because just like He says in His word, the power of Christ rests upon us when we are weak.
And if being weak means I get so much more of Jesus, I pray to be weak for the rest of my life.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I ail boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
Richelle on her own strength? Richelle is super weak.
If I am ever strong, that strength belongs to the Lord.
That is the Holy Spirit living within me.
I’ve found that only in unmasking my weaknesses and in choosing to expose the ugliest parts of my heart and my life does God in me become stronger. Only in choosing to be weak does the pure glory and the pure love of the Lord in my life shine brighter than anything else within me.
And if anything in me is ever going to shine, I pray that it would be of the Lord.
So, if you’re going to be anything, be weak first.
Because only then will you be the strongest you have ever been in your entire life.
