During our last days in El Salvador, a group of us from my team conquered El Boqueron. El Boqueron is a big crater left over from when the volcano erupted. It’s rare that a volcano will blow its top so perfectly upward that it leaves such an even crater.
We had been gearing up to go the entire month, but several things had come up that had made us keep on postponing it. I know for myself that a big part of it was I was incredibly intimidated by it.
We had heard stories of a gal going and passing out on the way up (only later to find out that she had only ate a donut that day….) or of a young guy falling. I was honestly terrified, but I knew that if I stayed back it would be something I would always regret.
We got to a lookout point at the top of the crater and I got even more nervous seeing it in real life. I had seen photos online but didn’t believe that they could be accurate. I couldn’t help but think “what the heck am I doing? Well it’s too late to turn back now”
I knew that it would be good. Tough, but I would be okay.
I had to trust the judgement of the people taking me that they wouldn’t take me if they didn’t think I could do it.
I had to trust that they would take me on a good path. I path that would bring me down and back in one piece.
The descent started off not too bad. It was steep but doable. Not all that I had worked it up to be.
But that was just the beginning.
The first scary part was where the path had dropped off so they had put a log across the gap to finish the path. Phewf! Made it past that A-okay!
It just kept getting harder and steeper.
We were warned about this one part where you literally had to climb down the roots of a tree. I had no idea how I would climb down this thing! I started and was clinging to the boulder that the tree was growing on. Our guide coached me on how to get across and down, and one of the guys that was ahead of me helped me to figure what would be good footholds in the roots. I was so relieved to be done that part but I had no idea what was ahead.
There was a lot of climbing down on my bum, and climbing down like it was a rock wall when it was nearly vertical (which I had never really done before). There was one part where I felt like I was Indiana Jones. There were basically a few rocks sticking out of the dirt of the crater wall. You leaned against the wall and stepped out on them. Later on there were boulders that we had to climb down that were steep.
We were told that it takes a lot longer to get down because you have to be careful, and I completely understand it. It was scary!
We finally got to what was called the “flatlands” (the bottom of the crater) that led to the smallest cindercone volcano in the world.
At the bottom of the crater on the cindercone volcano we had lunch and also had communion.
Looking up at what we had come down, I couldn’t believe that I had done that! At the same times I tried as hard as I could not to think about getting back up the crater.
Anxiety is something that I’ve struggled with and even though I’ve seen an amazing amount of progress during the Race, it still can come and tackle me sometimes. I’ve come to learn that my anxiety attacks me when I have trouble trusting and I learned a lot about trust climbing Boqueron.
First of all, I had to learn to trust God that he would protect me against all odds. No matter what happened, he had me under his protection.
I also had to learn to trust others…. A LOT.
This is something that has been especially hard for me. It was at training camp that God really began to show me that I can trust the people around me, in fact I have to. For Boqueron, I had to trust that our guide was taking a good route and helping us well. He and the others guys with us helped a lot. I had to use their help otherwise I’m not sure if I would’ve made it. Getting back up the crater, there were times where I needed someone’s grip to help me up or pull me up. I had no choice but to trust.
I had to trust my gear- mostly that my shoes wouldn’t slip.
I’ve been so grateful that I opted for trail runners over regular running shoes. They helped me so many times since they don’t slip as easily. If you’re thinking of going on the Race, bring trail runners. I’ve climbed mountains (or at least mountain like objects) in nearly every country that I’ve been in so far.
Lastly, I had to put a lot of trust in myself.
I can do this. I can reach that rock to hold onto.
There were times where I could just barely not reach something so I’d have to let go and take the leap to reach it. I had to trust that I could make it, and if I didn’t that I would be supported by those in front or behind me. I had to trust my body to handle it, and pull me up. I didn’t give myself the option to fail.
Our guide made a comment when we were close to bottom and on our way headed back up, about us being in Lord of the Rings and headed to Mordor. It honestly really helped me get back up, and made it a whole lot more fun! I let my imagination run away like when I was a child, and imagined that I was on some quest and adventuring.
The sense of accomplishment that I felt at the end of it all was amazing! I was scraped up, running on adrenaline, covered in dirt and sweat, and I couldn’t have been happier.
When we continually grow and stretch our faith, things that once seemed scary or impossible become easy to do when we’re faced with them again. When I crossed the first scary log when I was coming back, I couldn’t believe that I had been scared by it. It was perfectly stable and nothing in comparison to what I had just done. I had created a new standard of trust.
The thing with life is that everything is risky. I can walk out the street today step on the curb wrong and break an ankle or I could break it climbing a tree in an amazing volcano crater.
We start to let God grow our standard of trust in him, by taking small risks, little leaps. Slowly but steadily those leaps become easier and we’re able to take bigger and bigger leaps of faith. I want to get to a point where my faith in God is so deep that I can take risks that others think are crazy, but I don’t because I have the greatest safety net.
I have a spoiler for the end of my movie. I have no need to be anxious. I know that God works all things together for good for those who love him. I don’t know if where I’m leaping is solid ground, but I have someone who will stay with me even if it doesn’t end how I think it will. I want to take those risks and get to the end of my life, look at Christ, smile and say “what a great adventure”.
