We had two off days in a row, so a few squadmates and I decided to go to La Fortuna to check out a volcano and the parkland around it.
We had a great couple of days together and were finally headed back to Los Guido and the Finca (the property we’re staying on). The Finca is locked up at 6pm every day, and it looked like the buses would be would get us to there just after 6. No big deal. We’ll just call ahead and ask for those at the Finca to come and unlock it for us.
As we’re on our bus back to San Jose, we get stuck in traffic. This is the capital city, why wouldn’t there be traffic? I was still relaxed, we’ll just get in slightly later than anticipated.
I forget that in Central America the sun sets quickly. There’s none of this slow creeping down, but all of a sudden I realize it’s dark.
I’m starting to get unsure of the whole situation. In order to get to our bus stop to go back to Los Guido we have to walk through a rather sketchy area. We did not feel comfortable walking through it at night as a group of only 3 girls with full daypacks.
No problem.
We’ll just take a taxi and pay a couple bucks to get to our stop. What’s a few dollars compared to peace of mind and safety?
The bus is still sitting in traffic.
As soon as I realized that we were getting more and more behind schedule, I began praying (better late than never…). I know God cares about us, and I know that he has everything in his control. Getting us to the Finca safely is nothing to him.
Just because I know it in my head doesn’t mean that it always translates to heart knowledge. This was just the case here. I know that God is trustworthy, but what does my heart do when it’s put to the test.
I’m trying to give my worries over to Jesus, but it’s getting later and later, and darker and darker.
Finally, we pull into the bus station.
Apparently, one of the bus companies was on strike and so people were having to get around somehow else, and this is what was causing the giant gridlock in the downtown core. We look into getting a taxi, and it’s going to be something like $10 to go what would take us probably 10 minutes to walk. We couldn’t believe it!
We debated getting a taxi or not, and decided it’s better to suck up the $10 than to risk our safety needlessly. Even in a taxi it was going to take about 20 minutes to get to our bus stop.
As we squished into the taxi, my head ran through back up plan after back up plan. If this happens then we can do this.
I had a text message all written up to send to our squad leaders telling them that we were on our way and asking them if we could get a few guys to meet us at the bus stop to walk us to the Finca.
In the middle of my mind running 110 miles an hour, the voice of God interrupted.
“Do you trust me?”
“Ya ya. Of course I trust you.”
But then I went right back to my worrying.
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes I trust you. That’s what I said last time.”
The worry returned again.
“Do you trust me?’
It was finally on this third time that I realized that I had been saying I trust him, but not giving him control. It wasn’t in my heart.
“Yes God I trust you”
I exhaled and let my worries and control leave with it. I prayed and told God it was in his hands (not that it wasn’t always). My worry wasn’t going to make a lick of difference anyways.
The car window had fogged up, so I took my sleeve and wiped it off so I could look out at the traffic and the city life happening around me.
There has been a group of 13 of our squadmates who went back to Jaco, where we had had debrief and our team leader Liz was part of that group.
Within a minute of me giving God my control, Ada’s phone rang. It was Liz, and she asked if we were in a taxi in San Jose….?
That entire group was in taxis making their way to the same bus stop as we were because they had gotten caught in the same traffic. Apparently, as I was wiping off the window, Liz was in a taxi next to our taxi, she recognized both me and Ada and called.
We met up with them at the bus stop and rode with them back to Los Guido.
I was telling this story to Jarin on the bus, and she made the comment that we ask God for too little.
I was content with asking God for a few men to meet us at the bus stop, but when I gave God control he gave me 13 people to ride the bus with me.
In Matthew 7:11, we’re told that God wants to give us good gifts. When we ask him for something good he’s not going to give us something bad or harmful. In fact, James goes so far as to say that every good and perfect gift comes from God the Father of lights (James 1:11).
God wants to lavish his love and gifts on us. We need to let go of what is already in our clenched fists- for each person in each situation it’s different. For me in this situation it was my sense of control. Once we have open hands we are able to receive what perfect gifts he has for us that are so much more than we could ever ask or imagine!
