The past month has been a lot of waiting. Waiting for ministry to come. Waiting for things to look better. Waiting for my joy to come back. Waiting for my future to start falling together. Just waiting.
But now the Lord has finally given me what I need, just like He always does.
A loving host who so desires to love us and pour into us. Someone who feels exactly like a grandma to me in the way that she cares for us and cooks for us and just simply wants to spend time with us.
A house that feels like a home. Somewhere that isn’t just a house with concrete walls and floors. Somewhere that is welcoming and feels quite similar to my grandma’s house in the best of ways.
A joy that isn’t determined by my circumstances. Joy that is found in waking up every day to sweet Mama Kaye telling me its time to get up and start the day and then sharing in breakfast and bible study with her. Joy that comes from just getting to sit and be with God and ask Him what He wants for me in this day.
The past month and a half of my race I lived in Estelí, a small town surrounded by the mountains in Nicaragua. I had an incredible host who loved us dearly and became such a sweet friend to my team and I. Ministry was slow and the days seemed to go by the same way, slow. I would get to the end of my day, ready to sit down and journal about all the day entailed and could find nothing to put on my paper. I couldn’t help but feel frustrated over and over at the end of each day. Things were hard. Really hard. And the race was something that up until now, had never really been hard. Yeah, it hadn’t always been easy and I’ve had some really tough days and low points where the only place I wanted to be was home. But, it hasn’t been what I considered hard. At least not the kind of hard this past month in Nicaragua was. I struggled day in and day out to find purpose in my life, just trapped in a concrete box with seemingly no way to get out and no where to go. I fought every day to be happy and to have the joy that came so easily for me in Africa but it just would not come. Things were hard. I desperately prayed that God would move. That he would come into the situation and move the mountain that was blocking me from everything I had learned thus far on the race and everything that I loved. My joy, my passion for ministry, my purpose. And of course, He did. Because He’s God and he knows way more about what we need that we do.
He brought me to a place where I finally feel like myself again. The mountain that stood between me and all the things I so desperately wanted but just couldn’t reach was moved and I finally feel like I can breathe again. I am happy again and have found the joy I was missing for the past month. I have found purpose in my ministry and the people I have gotten to meet here already. I am hopeful and I am confident that this is the place my team and I need to be right now. A place where we can be poured into as much as we are pouring out. A place where we can find joy and purpose. And a place where God can come and move in big ways.
So here I am, living in the cutest of houses at a place called Casa de Gozo in El Crucero, Nicaragua, a small town outside of Managua. I have the sweetest of hosts named Mama Kaye who loves big and showers us with encouragement just as if we were her own grandchildren. She knows the goodness of the Lord and seeks every day to give all the glory back to him. She desires a personal relationship with each of us and just wants to be there for us like any grandma would. When we’re sick, when we’re feeling discouraged, when all we want to do is just curl up with her and watch movies and eat popcorn. She wants us to decide what ministry we want to do, whether that be having baking and cooking classes with the local teenage girls or starting up our own small soccer team. She is excited for us to bring our passions and our desires of what we want ministry to look like, and then she wants to do those things with us. She is the answer to our prayers in more ways than one and she tells us that we too, are the answers to her prayers. It’s funny how that works. God always knows exactly who we need in our lives and when we need them and He gave us Mama Kaye at the most perfect time. One of my most favorite quotes from an incredible man named Bob Goff is:
“We keep asking for answers; God keeps sending us people.”
We kept asking God to fix our situation and to give us purpose and I could hear Him keep saying, just wait a little bit longer. We kept getting frustrated and wanted to hear the words that we thought would be the answer to our desperate prayers and again, God just kept telling me, just wait. We kept asking for answers, but God just wanted to wait till just the right moment to give us just the right person. He sent us Mama Kaye and for that, I cannot be more grateful.
As my race and this nine month journey are coming to an end I just ask for prayers for many things. Prayers that this last month or so of the race can be filled with immense amounts of joy and good work for the kingdom. Prayers for my old host, Kerri and her family, as well as my new host Mama Kaye, that the Lord would bring them peace and guidance. Prayers for the town of El Crucero and the work we will be doing here with the youth. Prayers for our hearts as we prepare for the upcoming transition of life back into America, for my team and our squad as a whole. And lastly, prayers that we continue to trust in the Lord and His perfect timing because He is a good father and He desires to give us what our heart has been longing for.
Thank you for all your love and support. It means the world to me!! See you back in good ole America in a little over a month!!
Lots of love,
Reya
