She sits on a stiff wooden chair in a dark room, completely surrounded only by the eerie, cold, silent blackness. There is no light, no sound, no movement. She waits, but no one comes, no one hears her silent cries for help. She shivers, not only from being cold, but also because she feels utterly alone. She gives up – what is the use in fighting if no one is there to help her? What is the use in crying out if no one will hear her cries?
Isn’t anybody there? Doesn’t anyone care?
Time passes, and yet, she remains.
She doesn’t even notice when a warm Presence enters the room. She doesn’t realize that if she would just turn around she could see pinpricks of light as He begins to change her surroundings. She doesn’t hear the voice gently whispering to her that had sung over her so many times in the past. But something in her spirit begins to open up again, something deep inside her begins to stir when He walks in, and she begins to respond.
At first she tries to fight – after all, she can hardly recognize the One who has come in. She has gotten used to the darkness, has spent so much time alone that anything else now seems foreign to her. She firms her grip on the chair that has held her for so long – at first it had been uncomfortable and rigid but now she had grown accustomed to it. She tries to block out what is happening: she squints her eyes so tightly that she can feel a headache coming on, she clenches her jaw shut, only adding to the mounting pressure inside her, she releases her tight grip on the chair only to raise her hands to her ears and cover them as well.
Get away from me, she screams at Him, thinking it will anger Him and He will leave her alone in her misery again. Get away from me! You abandoned me! You left me here in this cold, dark room. I hated it, and I hated You for it, but now it feels safe, even comfortable sometimes, and I don’t need You any more.
“I love you,” He says, “and I have never left your side.” But she doesn’t want to listen, she doesn’t care what He has to say.
She notices that He isn’t going anywhere, so she uncovers her ears, just a little, and opens her eyes just enough to see a tiny sliver of the light that He brings. She is afraid…she can’t decide which is worse – feeling so abandoned in the first place, or trying to believe what He is saying to her now.
She hears a slight rustling, and feels Him moving closer. Suddenly she is engulfed in the tightest hug she has ever felt in her life. She feels as though she should be suffocating, but strangely, she begins to feel freedom and peace instead. He begins to whisper in her ears.
“Return to me, my child, for I have been seeking after you even though you continue to pursue your own way. I’ve called to you, but you don’t listen to Me. I place obstacles in your path and wait for you to stop and ask Me for help, but you go ahead on your own.
You are stubborn and rebellious, but I still love you. Does my love no longer melt your heart like it used to? Do my words that you once held so tightly no longer penetrate into your soul as they once did?
Put away your anxieties, and simply trust Me for everything. I can supply all your needs, and you do not have to do anything.
You are weary, and I would love to see you strong again. You are burdened, but I want you free. You are bound by concerns that should not matter to you, and instead you should be abounding in joy.
Come back to Me, my child. Finish the task I have assigned to you. Come close to Me, and I will minister to you and revive your spirit. Then you will be able to go on, and together we will face whatever trials come your way.”
She sinks deeper and deeper into His embrace. After all, how could she resist Him now, after all He had done for her? A deep realizatioin settled in – He was right, He had never left her. She couldn’t always see Him, but He was always there. She couldn’t hear Him, but He had been singing the same song over her again and again. Even when she felt utterly and completely alone, He had never left her side. She had just been too blind to recognize His presence, too stubborn to acknowledge that she needed Him, too proud to admit that she needed help.
She didn’t resist His embrace at all now, but instead turned her head and rested in on His chest, where she could feel His heart beat. All her fears melted away with the support He provided. Her unanswered questions became irrevelant as He held her close, her fears vanished as she found security in the warmth of His embrace.
She noticed that it was no longer dark, and that the walls had disappeared. She breathed in the fresh, clean scent of wildflowers as they rested in the most beautiful field she had ever seen. Her heart began to soften as well, and she began to weep, uncontrollably, as she realized that He was there and that He would never leave her.
She raised her head and looked at Him with tears in her eyes, and He nodded. It was time, time for her to experience freedom, time for Him to let her go. She stood, trembling at first, then more firmly as she realized He wasn’t moving anywhere. She began to move, slowly, cautiously, in a new sort of dance, then could no longer contain herself and began tumbling over, full of smiles and joy and life, as she danced through the flowers around Him. She was free!
God has said,
Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.”
So we say with confidence,
“The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.”
Hebrews 13:5-6
*words in bold are taken from Frances J. Roberts’ book Come Away my Beloved and re-written into my own words.
