And behold, there arose a great storm on the sea, so that the boat was being swamped by the waves; but he was asleep. And they went and woke him, saying, “Save us, Lord; we are perishing.” And he said to them, “Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?” Then he rose and rebuked the winds and the sea, and there was a great calm. And the men marveled, saying, “What sort of man is this, that even winds and sea obey him?” Matthew 8:24-27
Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
I don’t tend to be an anxious person. I suppose this is partially my own temperament and mostly God’s ongoing work in my life; but these past two weeks, small waves started stirring underneath my typically sanguine surface. It all started with a notice a few weeks ago from the post office announcing that they had a piece of certified mail and I needed to sign for it before they could deliver it. Add into the mix that I was in the middle of changing addresses at the time. Long story short: the certified letter took a while to catch up with me.
And that waiting got me thinking. What could this mysterious letter be? I admit, I didn’t think about it too much; but when I did, I started to worry. (I know that’s silly, but the only other piece of certified mail I ever received wasn’t exactly great. I had a precedent to be nervous!) I thought that my apartment was sending me something because I was moving out, but I called and they told me no. When I started to worry, I would voice a small prayer to God: Abba, I don’t know what’s in that letter, and I hope that it’s nothing, but, even if it’s not, I know you’re in control and I trust you.
But, I was still anxious. (Which didn’t really sound like trust to me, and I know it didn’t to God either!) I’m not really sure what this says about me, or what it says about what I think of God, but what I realized was that I was waiting for something bad to happen. And maybe that something bad was coming via the US Postal Service. I’ve been having a run of feeling really blessed because things are going really well. Would I still feel blessed if something bad happened? I hoped so, but, I honestly wasn’t sure. Until…
This past Sunday, still certified letter-less, at church we were singing “None But Jesus” and got to the bridge: all my delight is in you Lord. I am at a place where I know, without a doubt, that those words are true. There are things that delight me, but, the one thing, the thing that gives me the truest, purest, deepest delight, is Jesus. (And if you’re reading this and thinking, “that’s not me, I’m not sure that Jesus delights me most,” let me tell you, it’s true. You just don’t know it yet. I dare you to ask God to reveal it in your life. And then get back to me.)
Now here comes the part that clicked with me, and I’m hoping to make it clear to you:
Jesus is the thing that delights the most. That never changes.
So, if something good happens, I still get the most delight in Jesus.
If something bad happens, I still get my truest, deepest delight in Jesus. Nothing can touch it. Nothing can change it. Nothing can take it away.
If I get a certified letter with a check for a million dollars, that wouldn’t even come close to giving me the delight that knowing Jesus does.
And, if I get a certified letter telling me that I’m being sued for a million dollars, that doesn’t change my soul’s rest in Christ. It doesn’t change the one thing that truly delights me.
The end of the story is that I stopped worrying about the letter. Why should I be afraid? Even death can’t separate me from the love of Christ, and the joy I get from my relationship with him. Of course, the letter finally arrived when I stopped worrying about it. And, when it arrived, it couldn’t have been less significant. (It turns out that the apartment did send me a certified letter verifying when I was moving out. Which I already did. Like, two weeks ago.) Ha!
To close, I have a poem that I wrote Sunday night about this whole thing. Enjoy!
Delight
You
are the author
of undiluted delight,
deep-rooted joy,
the heart’s wildest flight.
You are the song
my soul longs to sing,
my truest desire:
I delight in One thing.
So how is it that
I have wandering eyes,
and I listen to questions
from the father of lies?
Every dark night
You’ve turned into day,
yet I doubt Your goodness
when I can’t have my way?
and yet
You delight in Your mercy,
and in Your own lavish grace,
so You delight in my voice,
and my upturned face.
and so
What can I fear,
and what can I dread, when
the Lord is my glory and
Lifter of my head?
Disappointment, despair,
disillusionment, death,
all denied power by the
Spirit’s fresh breath.
Bring on life’s storms,
They won’t scare me away,
For my delight’s in God,
The unchanging
Yahweh.
