As long as I can remember I have wanted to travel, to see new places, and to meet new people. My mother blames my aunt, her little sister, for giving me the travel bug yet she and Dad were just as much to blame. My aunt backpacked around Europe and then the world as a young woman, and I grew up hearing the stories followed by, “I believe everyone should travel when they are young.” Dad and Mom homeschooled us and would take us on long RV trips. My brother and I would wander the campgrounds meeting our neighbors. He would start the conversations and they would tell us their story. I love people’s stories.
Though I asked Yeshua into my heart as a little girl and was raised in a Christian home, I became an adult with a skewed vision of God. I thought God was a killjoy and if it sounded fun I was sure God would say no. In college I eventually stopped attending church and adopted an attitude that it was better to beg forgiveness than ask permission. I worked on a cruise ship, but real travel, the desire of my heart, was hindered by a lot of excuses and hidden fears.
September 1, 2010 I moved to Denver, Colorado and my life took a 180. That fall God sat me down and said I had to choose, was I going to continue to live my life my way or was I going to follow Him. My choice; He would respect my decision. The choice was easy; my way hadn’t gotten me too far. He led me to a Messianic congregation and by embracing His ways and His commandments I began to find freedom and a real view of Him. He healed my heart and kindly, patiently destroyed my excuses.
I’m broke so I can’t travel.
Surrender 101, for me, was tithing. God had already sent a few to speak to me about the tithe and the blessings that come from obeying in this area. Fall 2010 Pastor did a series on the tithe and Malachi 3:8-12. By the time I graduated in March 2013, He had proved over and over He is my provider and taught me His perspective on money.
I can’t ask others to support me.
Selling my truck and being without a vehicle for over two years humbled me and taught me how to ask for help.
I have pets.
We sold the horses. My dogs died of old age. Roadkill (the cat) moved in with Mom and Dad.
I have too much furniture/stuff.
This excuse may seem odd. I had a bedroom set that I grew up with and intended to pass along to my daughter. Letting go of that set felt like giving up on the hope of ever having a child. He brought me to the place where I could let go and filled me with peace. Then He lead me to Matthew 10 and said unburden your life.
I’m not a pastor or evangelist.
He has given me all the tools and skills I need for the work He wants me to do. I have seen me accomplish tasks and reach people that I thought were beyond me. In my own strength they would have been, but when He is working through me all things are possible.
I’m too old.
Yeah, yeah I know I’m only 31, and generally I would never describe myself as old. But aren’t you supposed to do crazy around the world backpack trips when you’re in your twenties and don’t know any better? He gave me Psalms 39:5.
I shouldn’t travel alone. I want to travel with my husband.
After a month in Tonga last year, God told me that there were more trips to come, but first He had work to do. He then lead me through some deep healing of past relationships and broke some lies I was believing about men and about myself. One of my 2014 goals was to focus on my relationship with God and let go of worrying about my singleness. Apparently, God likes my company because 2015 will be another year of focusing on my relationship with God. Letting go, no, delaying the dream to travel with a husband was one of the harder excuses to release. I had to fight the fear that this would mean I would never marry. God, because He loves me, sent people to me to share their confidence that one day I will be a wife.
Traveling will scare my mom.
My mom is the strongest woman I know. Yet my siblings and I have always tried to protect her from hurt and worry. I did not realize how much this affected me until God said, “Follow me. Let me take care of your mom.” My parents are excited for this adventure, and I will go without guilt of worrying my mother.
I believe that I was called to the mission field long ago. It took humility, surrender, healing, trust, and a patient Father to break the habits and thought patterns holding me back. This post only scratched the surface of events, conversations, and individuals that God has used to bring me to the World Race. God has been leading me here step by step and along the way He gave hints at what was to come. He placed a dear friend in my life who has spoken missions over me for three years. Even when I could not see or believe that this is my Promised Land and was fearful of the giants in my way, she was Joshua encouraging me that God will go before and make the way clear.
