Someone once told me that if I was having trouble finding my purpose, to find my passion, and then my passion will lead me to my purpose.

Well I’ve done that, and it WORKED.

My passion is children, children of all ages and all countries. 
It doesn’t matter what country I’ve been in the past 8 months, I have sought out opportunities to work with kids, and have eaten up the times when that was our ministry!
Every month so far I’ve gotten to work with kids in some capacity and it’s done so much to make my passion grow bigger and bigger! I know that this is where my heart meets the Lord’s!
I find such joy in knowing that I can impact a child’s life for Christ at an early age in the attempt to build a strong foundation that they can build upon to become Godly men and women!! 
I have a dream of one day owning and running my own camp. I honestly have no idea what that really looks like, but I know that I want it to happen. God has placed me in so many different environments over the past 5 years that have allowed me to grow and learn about working with all kinds of children. I know that in following this passion of mine that I have found my purpose!!! It’s so exciting!!

On my Race so far I have learned so much about what it means to hear from the Lord and to receive confirmation from Him, especially when it comes to this subject. Like I said, every month when I have been working with kids I could feel the Lord working in my heart telling me that this is what I was supposed to do! It’s an amazing feeling. I am SO blessed that he would confirm this calling in me by placing me in an environment where I get to be with kids and impact their lives for the Kingdom of heaven!!! He has brought people into my life that share this dream and I have been able to connect with others and learn from them. 

I’m learning this month, that confirmation can sometimes look different than I expect.

It’s so easy for me to feel excited and to KNOW that my calling is to work with children when that’s what I’m actually doing in the moment. In Swaziland, when those kids were right in front of my face EVERY day smiling at me, singing to me, talking to me, hugging on me, how could I not know with all my heart that I was made for an environment like that?!

What changes things is when I don’t have months like that. When I look around and there are no children to be found. 

Coming into this month I had a lot on my mind. It was an adjustment for me. I had stepped down as a leader for the month. I was with ALL new people that I hadn’t even been on a team with before, all of those people being girls. My team was paired with another team of all girls and I’d never experienced that on my Race yet either. It was a lot of new stuff to get used to! But I was excited because I enjoy change and I do enjoy opportunities to get to know new people and new experiences. As far as the ministry was concerned I was excited because I knew it was an awesome place. Phuket, Thailand truly is SO beautiful! So many Racers before us have loved and ranted and raved about SHE (Self-Help & Empowerment) ministries. Some loved it so much that now they live here permanently!

 
Two to three nights a week we split up into two teams. One team leaves and goes out to Patong for bar ministry. There, we just go around from bar to bar as the Lord calls us to and we talk to the girls working there. Our goal is to just build relationships with them, encourage them, and let them know how important, beautiful, and loved they are. We can offer them things like English classes and other jobs instead of working at the bars to give them a hope for a better life! The other team stays behind and from about 10pm-1am we pray and intercede for the teams that are out ministering. 

The ministry has turned out to be really cool and I have enjoyed going out and getting to know these girls. They are all so sweet and so outgoing. You can tell they do desire love. They just need to be shown the RIGHT kind of love that fulfills. I love meeting new people and making friends, and let’s be honest TALKING in general is something I’ve always been good at 🙂 
But I quickly came to realize that I wasn’t into the ministry quite as much as some of the other girls on my team. Why? Because it’s THEIR passion, not mine.
I think this ministry is needed and it’s so important, but this isn’t where I feel I am called for the rest of my life. So what do I have to learn? What is my role here?

I felt confirmation in such a different way than I ever have before. The Lord is STILL confirming my purpose with children in my heart, but by taking me OUT of environments where that’s what I’m doing. So often we expect confirmation to come by God giving us the opportunity to do what we love and that it’s in those moments that He speaks to us. He is still speaking to me. This time it’s by taking my out of that environment that I love so much. I know that’s where my heart lies because of how much I miss it. 

I realize that there are times in life where we know what we love. We know the direction we would like to head in and we know what experience we want to gain to help us get there. Some of you may feel like you aren’t where you want to be. You aren’t getting to do the things that you love. You don’t have a passion for what you do everyday. But I know now that this time is not time wasted. God knows the desires of your heart…He created them. He isn’t torturing you, he is trying to shape you and make you well-rounded. This is not a void time full of purposelessness. He has something to teach you HERE AND NOW that is preparing you for exactly what you want to do. I know that the experience I gain this month will somehow translate into my future. God always brings the pieces together! He has lessons for you to learn in this time and He is showing you His heart for you and your life!! It’s our job to keep our eyes and focus on His voice, leading and guiding us. We must take in the lessons as they come, no matter what they look like. 

I want to encourage everyone to continue following their passions and to trust Him if you don’t understand why He has you in the place you are in right now. It will make sense. I promise. He is still speaking to you and showing you where he wants you! Don’t wish away these times. Rest in them and grow. 

I still KNOW that I’m meant to work with children, but my eyes and my heart have been opened up to these women in Thailand and I am humbled that I’ve had the opportunity to meet them and encourage them. 
 
I can only look forward into the opportunities that are waiting for me in the coming 3 months. I’m excited to finish out this Race and to learn everything I’m meant to learn. I know that He is preparing me for my future so I’m taking the most from every lesson that He is teaching me. I encourage you all to do the same and to trust that He really does know what He is doing. Just because YOU don’t understand why doesn’t mean that there isn’t a purpose behind all of it. Trust Him and seek what it is He is preparing you for.