Dear Rebecca,
If you were told that you would be traveling the world in your 20’s, I doubt you would have believed that. To many people, traveling the world is a dream, something that would be an amazing opportunity but would forever remain just a dream. To others, it’s a neat idea, but something that would never be of true interest.
If you were told that you would be living a life for God, you wouldn’t have believed that either. It’s weird to look back on your life and see exactly how God’s hand was working, especially in the instances where you were closed off to him. In times when you weren’t faithful to him, he never stopped being faithful to you. He’s given you a long season of waiting, of being patient on him and trusting him to lead you to the things that you think you desire. But don’t lose heart in this time of endurance, of actively waiting- he waited 19 years for you to seek him, so if he’s asking you to wait for him, you owe him that.
You will reach a point in your life when you’re going to want the lives that a lot of your friends have- a career that you love, your own space to create a home, your own family- but I would encourage you above all else to seek God in the midst of these desires. Create the space for him to be at the center of your life, because a life that is not lived like this is a life not worth living. Do not make him a priority at the top of your list; make him the center of your life, so entwined in everything that he can’t be separated from anything.
If you sought out the life that you wanted to plan for yourself, you would have missed out on all that God has wanted you to experience, to endure, and to celebrate with him. Do not dwell on the things that you haven’t accomplished. Instead focus on the things that you’ve been able to be a part of while looking forward to the things that God will bring you to. Because of your willingness to follow him, you’ve been a part of some incredible things that you never would have done alone.
You’ve sat with lepers in Nepal and played soccer with men in an addict rehabilitation facility. You’ve walked through villages in Mozambique and learned how to cook delicious meals over an open flame, using ingredients that are directly provided to you from the land you pitched your tent on. You’ve seen the “big 5” on a safari in South Africa and woke up early to hike up a mountain and experience God’s creation. You ran through the hills of Swaziland and taught a preschool teacher how to make lasagna. You taught Zumba to kids in Madagascar, and covered your hands in honey to feed lemurs. You figured out how to used public transportation in Malaysia even when using the Marta at home makes you nervous, and sat in a coffee shop listening to a local woman talk in circles about her life. You’ve flown over Mount Kilimanjaro alongside a cyclone and have become a champion at sleeping on planes.
I know you never thought you would reach a point where your daily questions include, “Are these clothes too dirty to wear for the third or fourth time in a row? Will this water make me sick or is it safe to drink? Where will I be sleeping tonight? How much of myself should I share with my teammates; how vulnerable should I be?” The life you’re living is not one of glamor or comfort. At times it may not even be one that you want; but it is one that is full. You can survive with only five options of clothing, and you will even come to a point where even this seems excessive. You can thrive living life in community alongside five other women who also have nothing, but who are just as desperate for God as you are. Not only will you thrive, you will have the time of your life.
Remember to notice the beauty of the world around you, not just the physical beauty of the landscape, but the beauty of the people. Remember that those around you are in need of Christ, and that it is your mission to share him with everyone you come into contact with. Remember that it’s ok to be broken and to let people see the brokenness within you- people love you and want to help you carry your burdens.
More than anything, I want you to embrace all that God wants to give you in your life. I want you to be open to what he’s calling you to, knowing full well that the life he wants for you is so much more than the life you want to plan for yourself. Embrace his spirit within you and relish in the fact that he isn’t calling you to save the world, because he’s already done that. He’s calling you into obedience because he loves and cherishes you. As long as you walk with him, your life will never be lacking for anything.
– Rebecca
