When I was 19, I dedicated my life to Christ. Since then, I’ve come to learn what it means to know God as the father, the creator, the pursuer, the Holy Spirit as a guider, a comforter, Jesus as the savior, as God. I’ve come to learn and grow in my relationship with Christ as he encompasses all of these things, but during the past month in Madagascar, Jesus taught me what it looked like to be my friend.
Before the race I would have absolutely said that Jesus was my friend. I spend time with him every day in the Word, seeking what he wants to tell me. I set time aside in the morning or evening to pray, and have learned how to incorporate prayer into my daily living. Needless to say, I spend a lot of time seeking Christ, doing equal parts listening and talking, and, for lack of a better phrase, spending intentional time with him.
My relationship with God runs deep and is something I treasure, consistently pouring time into. However, I failed to realize that I didn’t truly understand what it meant to know Jesus as a friend. In Madagascar last month, my team was doing scheduled ministry at a school for grades k-9. One day when we showed up we were informed that many of the grades were taking their final exams. They needed two of us to sit in the rooms with the kids to proctor the exams, making sure the kids weren’t cheating. For those of you who have never proctored an exam before, let me tell you, it’s one of the most boring things you can do with your time. However, I felt pulled to volunteer myself for this duty.
I was led into a classroom of middle schoolers who were intently taking their exams. I started watching the kids and soon realized that cheating was the last thing on their minds, so I sat down. Immediately Jesus sat down next to me. I asked him, “Ok, what is it you need to tell me? What is it I need to hear?” He looked at me and all he did was smile. This is when I realized that Jesus just wanted to hang out.
We spent the next two hours talking. He listened to me talk about my week, my desires, and he daydreamed with me. We smiled together, laughed together, and caught up with one another. It was just like catching up with an old friend over a cup of coffee. I had never before spent time with Jesus with the sole purpose of hanging out. I wasn’t praying; I wasn’t seeking guidance or direction; I wasn’t praising or thanking him. I wasn’t directing my conversation upwards towards heaven- I was directing it right beside me. We were just sitting and chatting. (The kids were still taking their tests, and yes, I was watching them the whole time- don’t worry, no one cheated.)
Jesus showed up a few more times throughout the month like this. One morning I was outside alone reading my Bible when I looked up and saw him. He was sitting in a tree that was enshrouded in sunlight watching me. When he saw me, he smiled and waved, and didn’t leave until I was done reading and talking to him.
A few days later I did my laundry with a couple of other girls on my team. We hand washed our laundry in the morning so that we could hang it up on a line to dry by the evening. After ministry that day, I walked outside to pick up my clothing. As soon as I stepped outside, Jesus came alongside me and held my hand. Again, he smiled at me and then walked with me to check my clothes. He helped me gather up my laundry and walked back with me to my room, holding my hand the whole time and loving me with his smile.
These simple experiences showed me what it’s like to have an intimate friendship with Jesus. He is so many different things to each person, but it’s up to us to embrace each of his characteristics with an open mind to see him how he wants us to see him. I didn’t realize that I was missing this kind of quality time with Jesus until he walked with me in friendship. He’s given my heart a new understanding of how much deeper and intimate our relationship can be, and has expanded my ability to experience him in the mediocre moments.
Every month I’ve been growing in my understanding of the characteristics of Christ and what it means to truly live a life of absolute surrender to him. This month in Malaysia will be one that is completely dependent on him- we will have no hosts, no planned place to stay, and no scheduled ministry. It is up to us to seek where the Spirit wants us to go and what he wants us to do. My team and I are excited to seek the things God wants us to do and the people God wants us to meet!
Thank you for the continual prayers!
