A typical routine of my morning consists of me waking up, using the restroom, and taking a brisk glance at the mirror, sometimes too sleepy to notice my appearance, or other times frightened by the person staring back at me (we all have those days, right?). Afterward, if I was in “real life” rather than World Race mode, I might fix my hair and play around with some fun outfits for the day, checking myself in the mirror once again. Throughout the next 24 hours I begin to realize how often I could “run into myself”, whether in a public bathroom, reflection of a shiny building or glimmered vehicle, or maybe a large, glassy window. Then, I begin to wonder…
Who is this person I keep running into?
And, with slight hesitation, from what angle or perspective do others view this person?
My pondering might come across as being obvious, or even silly as I write… since it is unmistakably known that this person is ME. I don’t have to be reminded on a daily basis of my identity, unless my brain fails to function, which I’m glad so far I’ve been good in that respect. I recognize that I am Rebecca Ceylan Burger, a 5 ft tall [or short] female, with long, curly blonde hair that decides to cooperate with me on most days. I realize I’m one of 4 siblings, with parents that love me, and friends that encourage and speak the truth in love when I need to hear it. Most importantly, I am reminded of my inheritance as a daughter of God, and His grace that daily erases my weaknesses and failures.
But if I dare to dig beneath the surface, what might I find? What are the joys, struggles, fears, questions, thoughts, and emotions I’m facing? Where do I stand with the Lord, what is He teaching me, and are there any hindrances blocking my intimacy with Him?
The part about identity I believe can either terrify or radically affirm us is the mere fact that we can only be entirely transparent with ourselves to God. We are not God and therefore cannot search anyone else’s souls fully but our own, which He purposefully intended. Yet He intricately designed us for the cause of functioning in community, remaining under one unit, operating with the same vision we’ve been called to as radicals for Jesus Christ– to usher His kingdom to the earth, proclaiming His salvation and burning desire for the hearts of the lost.
Similarly, one of the BEST reasons to do the World Race is the aspect of being thrown into 24/7 community. I am not kidding when I say this will transform a person’s life entirely- if he or she allows it. Learning to face each other’s junk, then our own junk (it’s funny how we always come in second), and through that somehow function properly within our monthly ministry… it is dirty business, let me tell you! Only by His grace and mercy have we remained sane and loving towards one another and those we’ve been blessed to minister towards. This year truly has become one of the most sanctifying experiences with the Lord and my squad in terms of community survival. 😛
As the chapter of my World Race journey is nearing its conclusion, I am brought back to my original question… who am I, and how do others view me? How has traveling to 11 countries in 11 months changed me, and how do I implement these differences when I return home, just a few short weeks away?
I don’t know the answer to all these questions yet… in fact, I don’t think I will receive them altogether until I step back onto American soil again, reunite with my family and friends, and begin to seek my next adventure with the Lord’s leading as He flips the page to a fresh, new start. One that continues with the main character [that’s ME], maybe several known companions, yet perhaps in an unfamiliar environment with different people. Though this rising change is headed my direction, which sometimes feels like a volcano about to erupt with no outcome of control, I surprisingly feel His peace embracing me… and as it comes, all I have to do is pick up my pocket-sized mirror, open it up, and relax.
Because I am aware of my identity, the pure refinement of God’s work on my heart from this past year, and the sheer beauty, confidence, and hope that drives me to live dangerous and radical for His glory, both in this moment, tomorrow, next year, and the rest of my life.
