It is 11:58 pm…
As I'm sitting on my bed, staring back at this screen, I'm not sure what my fingers will type next.
Frankly, the past couple days have been extremely BORING. I've been sitting at home, maybe going out to do several errands, then back to my house. I've been reading books, going for runs or long walks, hanging out with my family, chatting with friends via skype…
I can't remember the last time I've had such few tasks on my agenda. And it kinda itches my skin. I just want to DO SOMETHING!!!!! My schedule has tremendously lightened up since moving back home in August. Each week is different- some busier than others. But in general,
it's just. been. s l o w.
It hasn't necessarily been a bad thing. In fact, I know God's placed me in this season purposefully. In less than 40 days I am about to begin a crazy adventure that will drastically change my life, my direction, my perspective, everything. My daily routine will look MUCH different than today. Right now He is telling me to enjoy this restful place. To be patient in waiting… to be content by just being with Him.
I often find myself asking Him questions including but not limited to:
"What will it be like? What are you going to do through my team, my squad?
How can I be praying specifically for these 11 countries? How can I be most effective in my time spent in each nation? How are you going to change me through this trip? What's next after the World Race?"
I love that we can do that. We can just talk to our Daddy, who's always listening. Sometimes He answers back, other times He is silent. But He's always right by our side. He always knows each and every detail. I'm trying to obtain patience when He's really the one being patient with me! I often find myself dissatisfied with where things are at. I always want to jump ahead and take a peek at what's next.
"Am I not enough?"
God has repeated this question to me lately… I know that He is. But I'm constantly distracted by other things. People. Music. Hobbies. Facebook. The future. Ministry itself.
One of my all-time favorite Scriptures is Psalm 42:1-2, which says,
"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?"
This is my prayer tonight. That I will be thirsty for GOD alone. That I will find no better satisfaction than to sit before His feet, to spend time with Him. Father, remove the idols in our lives. Take us into a deeper place of intimacy with You, the Lover of our souls. Thank you for this open, available time You've given me to just be with You and enjoy Your presence. And as I leave to begin the World Race, may You continue to draw my heart closer to Yours daily and blow me away by the depths of Your love.
You are ALL that I desire, everything that I need, all that I want.
