10/23/11
It’s Sunday, another rainy and gloomy day for China. Since we’ve been here blue, sunny sky and chilled air filled over China until rain started last night and continued on to today. A rainy day that marks a bittersweet moment for Eagles Wings 5 as dear baby Yun Jing left 20 minutes ago for Beijing to live in Bethel, a new home where he will be much taken care of. The first time I saw him he was lying in his crib with a finger in his mouth swaying his head from side to side. His eyelids kept close then I realized that he was the baby that everyone said has no eyes. My heart felt sad for the baby as I fought back tears not wanting anyone to see me cry on the first day. I felt sorry for baby Yun Jing at the same time I was happy to see him. I was utterly confused and while feeding him the tears that I strongly fought back began to trickle down my face. Thankfully I was feeding him in a spot where none of the ayis (ay-ees, respectful title for the caretakers aka “aunt”) could see me. All I could think was how unfortunate it must be for such a precious child to not have eyes to see yet was created so beautifully like an angel. After feeding him, I excused myself to the bathroom and quietly let my heart cry. For the next week and a half I found myself always looking forward to making him smile whether it’d be putting toys in his hands to feel for what they were, rocking him back and forth as he stood just holding on to my index fingers with whole hands, bouncing him on my lap, making the same mouth noises, holding him upside down, or tickling him. My favorite times were when he would fall asleep in my arms gazing unto his peaceful stature while caressing his adorably fat cheeks. Loving this baby was the easiest thing that God had put in my path, but at the same time hard for I knew that I couldn’t be with him for long- which turned out to be a lot shorter than expected. Right before I saw him being taken from our place on the 6th floor into a black Toyota car parked right outside my window, I prayed quietly beside his ears letting him know how much Jesus loves him. I am so thankful that God allowed me to love on baby Yun Jing like he was my own similar to how I’m one of God’s own. Having the chance to be with him is a great reminder of the nurturing care and love that God shows me every day, as well as remembering to take the time to acknowledge the beauty of His grace in all that I do for Him. Father bestowed upon me, during my time with Yun Jing, such vulnerability that enabled me to grow spiritually. I recently discovered that I am yearning for that same vulnerability to come out more and more throughout the World Race for the freedom in it is so enticing. Vulnerability is not a matter of weakness but a vital variable to greatness. Thank you, Father.
This is Yun Jing, the morning before he left for Bethel
