We learned this phrase at training camp that goes “The American Dream is too small because now you have Kingdom Dreams.”
I’ve been struggling with this for about a week now. It started with the smallest, most seemingly insignificant thing: I was sad that I wouldn’t get to experience an Autumn this year. You see, Fall is my favorite season. I love when it gets cooler and I can wear jeans and boots and sweaters and scarves, basically all things warm and comfy.
Seeing as I’ll be in Africa this Fall, chances are I’m not going to be anywhere that has Fall like weather. And even if I am, it’s not like I’m going to be packing boots and sweaters. This makes me SO SAD. I was picking up some things from Target a couple days ago, and I had to walk right by all the adorable Fall sweaters that were out. I have to admit, I pouted about that for a bit.
How does this tie into the American Dream? Well it started with me grieving not having a Fall. And then it turned into me wanting a cute little cottage style house with a stone fireplace and cozy blankets. Sprinkle a little wanting a husband in there and BAM, you’ve got me desiring the American Dream.
I know the American Dream is supposed to be too small for me now because I have Kingdom Dreams, but if I’m being honest, right now I kind of just want the American Dream. I want to start working like a college graduate is expected to (and like all my friends are), start saving for a house, find a nice man who love Jesus more than anything, get married, and maybe do the whole kids thing (maybe). I definitely don’t want all that RIGHT NOW, but I would like to start working towards it.
However, I’m afraid the World Race will mess that up. Scratch that, I think God through the World Race will mess that up. I know God radically changes people and their desires quite often on the World Race. Who knows, maybe those desires will still be there when I get home. Maybe they’ll be even stronger and what the Lord has for me when I get home. But then again, maybe it won’t be. Maybe He’ll want me to go into full time ministry either in the States or somewhere overseas. Maybe He’ll call me to a life of living with much less than the standard American. Who knows what God will do. That’s what I’m afraid of.
Here’s the thing though: God’s plan for my life is so much better than anything I can dream of. I confidently and whole heartedly believe that. So the fact that I’m afraid of what He’ll do in my life is just silly. He knows exactly what is best for me, and He also knows my desires. He delights in giving us the desires of our hearts. I was journaling about this the other day, and realized that I don’t want my desires to be my desires. I want them to be the desires that the Lord has planted and cultivated in my heart.
I want to be clear: I do not think the American Dream is necessarily bad (depending on your definition of the American Dream). Houses and fireplaces and husbands are great things, especially when they bring glory to God. But God has so much more for His people than just being comfortable with a cute house, handsome husband, and 2.5 kids. Those are good things, but He hasn’t called us to a life of comfort. He’s called us to a life of living radically for His glory, whatever that may mean.
When I was talking to one of my squadmates about this, she brought up a really good point about the whole “house, husband, and 2.5 kids” thing. She said that so much ministry can be done in the context of a family. Once you have a husband, your primary ministry is to him. And then once you have kids, they become your primary disciples, teaching them to grow up in the ways of the Lord and love Him with all their hearts. That is an amazing ministry to be a part of. That is not any less of a ministry than feeding orphans and caring for widows in a third world country.
So whether I end up being the mother ministering to her husband and children, the single woman caring for orphans and widows, or the one anywhere in between, it’s all good because I will be serving the Lord exactly where He will have placed me.
That’s the biggest thing for me. I only want to be wherever God wants me to be. It might not (let’s be real, it probably won’t) look exactly how I want it to look, but it will be good. Because God is a good, good Father, and He only has the best for me.
I realize my blogs have kind of been all over the place recently, but that’s because I’VE been all over the places recently. Thanks for bearing with me and being willing to read my sometimes incoherent ramblings of life and what God is doing in me through the World Race.
Just today I have hit the halfway mark in fundraising! I am now 52% funded. I need just $1,400 to reach my August 21st deadline of $10,000. If you feel the Lord leading you to make a financial donation, please do so by August 18th (that gives it time to clear in my account by the deadline). Just click “Support Me” on the right side of the fundraising bar at the top of the page.
THANK YOU for your support and faithfulness to get me this far. God is teaching me all about His love and faithfulness through all of you. I could not be more grateful.
