“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” John 8:36
Freedom was the overarching theme of my training camp. Let me just dive right into the story.
On day 3, we went into the training center to worship and have our morning session. The worship band said they weren’t going to do any major worship, but instead were going to play in the background and let us have time with the Lord. They told us to just sit in His presence and hear what He has to say.
I was hesitant because I doubted if I would hear anything at all. I thought it was going to be an hour of me desperately trying to hear from the Lord and being disappointed when I didn’t.
How wrong I was.
We sat down and the band began to play. I started worshipping silently to myself, and after a while I felt the Holy Spirit telling me to stand up. I was like “Uh no. No one else is standing up. I don’t want to look weird or have people staring at me.”
It was at this point that the Lord gave me a picture of a rope tying me to my chair. He told me this rope is what has been holding me back for so long. It’s the reason I always felt like I lacked joy, couldn’t enjoy life, and couldn’t be myself. I heard Him gently whisper, “Until you stand up and break that tie, you’re not going to be able to experience all the freedom I have for you. You’re not going to experience the fullness of life that I have for you.”
Even then I was still fighting Him. I fought back with “But no on else is standing up. I don’t want to be the only one.” God, probably shaking His head and laughing, told me to open my eyes. I found that I was certainly not going to be the only one standing up. There were Racers all around the room worshipping freely. After a few more minutes of fighting, I made one of the best decisions of my life.
I stood up.
I instantly felt free, like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Hot tears started streaming uncontrollably from my eyes as I stood in awe and worship of my God. He spoke life into me and said, “Daughter, you are now free. Free to worship, free to dance, free to sing, free to be vulnerable and let people in, free to enjoy life, free to be the truest you. You are precious like rubies and diamonds to me. I fully know you, love you, and accept you.”
This was the most incredible feeling. As the week went on, I began to experience more and more freedom. It wasn’t all at once for me. Later that day I was forced to dance. After I was forced, it was like the chain had been broken again, and I started dancing all the time. It was fun!
Throughout the week I had more and more opportunities to experience the freedom I was given that morning. I grew more comfortable around my squad, and I started opening up and just having fun. It was the kind of life I had always desired. I was fully me, and I was fully loved and accepted by my new family.
One of the songs we sang at training camp went like this:
“I found my freedom in the river,
found my freedom in the river,
of your love”
This became my anthem, and the song that never left my mind throughout camp.
I’m going to write another blog about training camp overall or else this one would be way too long. Let me just say that training camp was difficult in every way – physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally, but it was the best week (or 10 days) of my life.
I have until August 21st to meet my next financial deadline of $10,000. I am currently at just over $6,800. If you would like to donate, please click the “Support Me” link on my blog.
Love y’all!
