I am a great American Christian, but I make a terrible missionary.
My great pain is not being able to have popcorn as frequently as I would desire.
I have a voice in my head that prods me to get cute pictures with little street kids and orphans, so that I have awesome pics to put on Facebook.
I find myself awkward around little kids. It’s like they hold the power and deem certain people cool and others uncool and depending on their mood that day, I may not make the cut.
I want to make sure that I stand out to the people on the squad and that when they leave the Race, they are impressed with me.
At times, I think waaaay too much before praying to make sure that I sound good.
And when I do pray, most the time it ends in me repenting for something else because Lord knows I have been a hot mess since being here.
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But in it all, I rejoice. I rejoice that even though in the American Christian community people think that I am impressive with my memorized verses and intense involvement in youth ministry, music, and media endeavors, when it comes to real life, I fall short. Thank God!
I praise the Lord that I suck at this. I praise God that I am constantly reminded that I cannot save these people and that I cannot impress these people and that I cannot help these people. I have nothing to offer. I have nothing to give outside of Him.
My greatest efforts will always fall short. It does not matter how relentless I am in shoveling mud into bags and playing guitar for orphan kids or feeding impoverished peoples, if there’s no Jesus, it’s always going to fall short and it’s all going to suck.
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So yes, I am a terrible missionary. Pretty awful really, but I am eating my humble pie slice by slice and learning to love the least of these and learning that those who seemingly have the least have more to offer me than I could ever imagine. For this, I lift my hands in humble adoration and gratitude and say, “Thank you, Lord!”
Thank God that He can literally use anyone to be a missionary because Jesus already sealed the deal 2000 years ago on the cross and the Holy Spirit will guide our every move if we let Him and at this point, I’m out of good ideas, so believe me, I am relying on Him strong.
He must increase, I must decrease.
Come now Jesus.
World Race Challenge of the Month: Take time everyday this week to wake up a little earlier than usual and pray for your family and for your community.
