Wherever you are, be all there.
Be present. This is the lesson the Lord is teaching me these days. Lately I’ve either been stuck living in the past, or wishing away the present by hoping too much for the future. While reflecting on the past or thinking towards the future aren’t necessarily bad things (it can be good to help not repeat past mistakes, or to ensure you’re taking the steps now to plan for the future), when either becomes the obsession of your mind and you miss the here and now, something needs to change.
The enemy has been working hard to get me to dwell on past mistakes and regrets, telling me lies that I’ve messed up enough that God can’t use me anymore. But the Lord is shining His light in – big and bright – to remind me that I am His daughter, we are His children. He has redeemed us. He has bought us with the price of His Son’s life and He loves us unconditionally. If we have repented of past sins over and over, we must start believing that what He says is true: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).
When my heavenly Father looks at me, He sees Christ’s righteousness! I am spotless in His sight! How amazing is that?! And He wants me to see myself that way, too, and that’s a hard thing for me. But I’m learning that when I hold onto guilt and shame thereby “punishing” myself, I’m actually telling Jesus that I don’t think His sacrifice on the cross was enough for me, that I have to add my own feelings of regret and remorse to His shed bled, and that’s blasphemy. By taking God at His Word that I am forgiven (the very first time I ask!), and letting go of my feelings, the enemy loses His grip on me and I am set free!
The deceiver also works more silently in getting me to wish away the present by dwelling so much on what is or could be coming in the future, like my mission trip. I leave in less than three months now and am just so excited! But this preparation stage can easily feel long and daunting, and I’d really like for it to be January already so I can be on my way! 
He also gets me stuck thinking about all the future possibilities and questions like, what will I do when I get back? Will I do dental hygiene in the states again? Will I continue with long-term missions? Will I have a family someday? Will I ever go back to Haiti? And what about wishing I could just be in heaven now and see all my loved ones again who have left me behind? Christ’s second coming and living in heaven is going to fix everything, so why can’t it come now?
But the Lord has been reminding me that the future is in His hands, not mine, and He will reveal anything I need to know in His perfect timing. I can trust Him with my future and let go of anxiousness and obsessive planning.
God has shown me that I’d been letting the present just pass me by, by dwelling on the past and anticipating the future. I’m working to be more intentional with these last three months with family and friends, soaking in the time I have with them. I’ve already spent a day with my nieces and good friend at a chocolate factory and painting, and gone canoeing with my mom. I’m so thankful the Lord revealed my heart and thoughts to me before it was too late, and I had missed out on the opportunity to create these memories.
This is where I am, and I’m working to be all here. Wherever you are right now, I hope this encourages you to stop dwelling on your past or wishing too much for the future. Let’s not miss out on what God has for us right here, right now. Let us be fully present.
