"Are you ready, Rachel?"
Oh how many times I have been asked that question. Ready to get in the car, Rachel? Ready to run this race, Rachel? Rachel, put your books away. Ready for the test?
I answer yes. Ready or not. You have to stay positive, don't you know.
And now, I am asked that question as I leave with a huge duffel bag for the airport.
"Are you ready?"
Am I ready?
At times I act like I am never coming back. "This is the last time I will drive a car, the last time I will use my phone, the last time I will see my friends." Well, not really, Rachel. You will pick up in a year right where you left off.
But then again, I hope I don't come back to life that is the same. In a way this life is dying today. Not only will I be changed when I get back, but everyone else will be too.
People will learn that life continues on without me. They don't "need" me. Maybe that is what love is–not the needing, but the wanting. And maybe that is what we truly grieve when people leave–the acknowledgement of our abilities to live life without them.
We always want more time.
There is always something more to do, more to pack, more to clean.
But that is the human part of me relying on my own plan, my own strength, my own abilities.
We can be ready for anything! Because we are a work in progress, a mold of clay being formed by His hands.
And that is all I need to be ready.
After two years of preparation, It is a little surreal saying this, but…
