At some point in the past few weeks I’ve gotten really sick of hearing myself say “if that’s what God wants” and “if it’s God’s will”. I like everyone else, do not hear from God clearly all the time. Sometimes I feel like He is sitting right next to me, and others it’s like the microphone has been turned off.
In Nepal during my Amad time, I actually sat and spent time with God. It was one of the first times that I remember hearing so clearly and directly from God. I asked questions about where he had shown up in my life and what my future would look like after the race. God had been speaking to me in various ways on the race, and I finally saw how he connected the dots of how he has been talking to me. After that, I was overwhelmed with confidence. I had never experienced something so clear and undeniable. I was so excited to share this with my team and then that dreaded “if” came out. As I was explaining what God had revealed to me, I found myself ending with “but I don’t know, it could change in the next 8 months” and “if thats God’s will for me”. WHAT. Where did that come from? Just an hour ago I was so sure of myself that I could have shouted it from the rooftops.
Over the next month, I realized how much I use that. I would discover something new or see something new in my past of where God was but there was always that “if”. Are we always 100% sure of what He is saying? Of course not. But in the moments that we are, why is it so easy to doubt?
Fear of embarrassment. Speaking in confidence of what God has for us is scary. It requires faith and trust in Him and that is the point. There is a fear of fully committing to something because it’s not guaranteed. It’s not written on a wall. It’s not a permanent thing. And what happens if you’re wrong? What happens if you fully commit to this thing and turns out you completely misread what God was telling you?
Unfortunately those are possibilities. It requires an act of faith. Stepping out in boldness about what God revealed to you whether you are 100% sure or not, requires trust and faith. That is part of our walk with God. He tests us so we will show our true faith. He wants us to show to Him that we do fully believe and trust in Him. In all things. So even if you are wrong, walk in confidence. There is no shame in making a mistake. We are all human. We are not perfect.
I’ve wanted to write this blog for a while now but I’ve always held back, why? Because it would take a sign of faith to go through with it. Sharing what God told me in Nepal would be vulnerable and scary because what if it is wrong? What if I misheard? But I’m going to step out into confidence. I’m going to share what was revealed to me in hope that maybe it would inspire some of you to walk in confidence with what God has told you. So read my next blog to find out what I plan to do with my life after the race!
