What is FEAR?
What is FAITH?
They are both very powerful emotional reactions to circumstances that haven’t even happened yet and that may not even happen. Each reaction to what may or may not take place has the potential to make or break our lives. Fear’s reaction has the potential to hinder us from fulfilling our purpose and the plans God has for our lives, consequently living a life with regrets. FAITH allows us to make those leaps into the unknown, conquering fear and ultimately living a life with no regrets.
Here are some examples of my FEAR and my FAITH on the race so far.
FEAR says, “I can’t jump off this bridge into the canyon, because ‘I don’t know what will happen’” and then I miss out on a great once in a lifetime experience.
FAITH says, “I am going to trust this rope and harness with my life, and even though, ‘I don’t know’ what might happen, I am going to take a leap of faith and jump anyways” and then, I have the time of my life and am so thankful I took that jump.
FEAR says, “I can’t allow my business to run while I am gone because I am afraid it will stop and I will look like a failure if I leave America and my business ‘fails’.”
FAITH says, “I KNOW God works all things to His glory, and even if my business stops when I am on the World Race, I know God has a plan, a reason, and a lesson to grow me and have a deeper faith in HIM and not my own means (my business).”
FEAR says, “I am not going on the World Race because I am afraid people won’t support me and I will look stupid when I fail and don’t meet the financial deadlines and am sent home.”
FAITH says, “God called me to the race, and even though I have no idea who will support me and how God will provide the money, I will trust that if He wants me there for the full eleven months or just a season that it is something He has had planned all along and HE will PROVIDE.”
FEAR says, “I am not going to go talk to that man about God because I am afraid he will think I am weird or judge me…even worse, make fun and laugh at me. Maybe I will stumble on my words and look like a fool!” And then seeds are not planted and lives are not changed for the KINGDOM.
FAITH says, “God has sent me here to tell people about HIM, my PURPOSE for being alive is to tell people about Christ and lead them to a relationship with HIM. I am going to tell that man about God and even if he laughs at me, makes fun of me, or judges me; I know that I planted a seed and God can use it to ignite a fire in the man’s life later. God can turn my fumbled mess of words into greatness that changes the man’s life for the better.” And then there are souls saved and a new brother is born into the KINGDOM.
FEAR says, “I choose to worry about meeting my April 1st deadline of $11,000 because I can’t see from where or how the $2,297 I need will come in and TIME IS TICKING!”
FAITH says, “God wants me here, HE will provide if HE sees fit and WHEN he sees fit.”
These are just examples of fears I have had the past four months and the faith responses God has given me the strength to have to each fear. The FAITH God has been growing in me has been combatting the fears the devil has been throwing my way. Many people have asked me,
“What if your business fails while you are away on the race?! What will you do?”
OR
“IF you don’t meet your April 1st deadline, when will you come back to America?”
While these may seem like simple, harmless, and thoughtful inquiries, they have seeds of fear buried deep inside their core. They are seeds I have been working hard at finding in my life’s garden and crushing with truth from God and the FAITH He has been growing in me.
Since originally writing this blog, I had an opportunity to go into town from the mountain we are staying on in Swaziland to get Wi-Fi to post blogs and continue fundraising. Long story short, the day was a day filled with frustration of everyone trying to find Wi-Fi, getting it, and then it not working forcing us to find Wi-Fi elsewhere. I even found an internet café which was sure to be the answer for me to post a few blogs, answer a few emails, and work on my fundraising to reach my past due deadline. I walked into the Internet café all excited, only for my joy to be extinguished by the clerk stating, “We are closing in nine minutes”.
With their smallest package being 20 minutes for 15 Rand, I asked, “Can we use nine minutes of Wi-Fi then?” Sure enough, the man let us use nine minutes of Wi-Fi for only 10 Rand as a “Favor”. I knew this was it, it was what I needed to post a few blogs, post my new blogs to Facebook, answer a few emails and send a few out stating my needs to meet my deadline late. But as I tried to log into my blog account, the system wouldn’t let me. It didn’t recognize my email or password. For SEVEN minutes, I tried everything even looking at each letter and figure of my email address and trying multiple passwords. At the seven-minute mark, I finally found the error in my email. The sticky keys of the Internet café’s keyboard stuck when I typed the “a” in my email. Fixing my problem, I checked my financial situation in my account, plugged in my external hard drive to get my blog (this blog) copied it from the word document, went to paste it and RIGHT then, the computer screen turned blank telling me my time was up.
Laughing, I fought the fear and frustration with the newfound faith God has grown in me the past few months. The fear that not having Wi-Fi all month would prohibit me from doing the needed fundraising was torn down and demolished by the faith that “God KNEW” the whole day was going to be what it was, a failed attempt at Wi-Fi. The faith that knowing, there is NOTHING I can do that will add another dime to my fundraising account, and that it is ALL in God’s hands.
This thought against fear is a new concept for me. Pre race I was consumed by fear, worry, and doubt. But God has been working deeply within me to show me that no matter what happens HE PROVIDES and HE WILL NOT LET ME FAIL. All I need is to have FAITH.
Since that weekend, I found out that God has been doing the groundwork, working in people’s hearts and $522 has been added to my account. It has been a fun past few weeks sitting back and putting up my feet to let God do the work because of the faith he has grown in me. Almost a challenge to see how much God will provide and work out before my next blog. Who knows, by the time this is posted, there might be more added to my account!
With only $1,705 needed to meet the April 1st deadline and $6,957 more to be fully funded, it would usually create a lot of fear and anxiety of HOW those deadlines and that money will be raised. It is so exciting, however, and less stressful to have the newfound faith and CONFIDENCE in my creator to do what He says. When FEAR starts to creep in, just remember:
Hebrews 11:1 “FAITH is the CONFIDENCE that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.”
