This past month has been pretty discouraging for me, point blank. The more and more I look at my finances for just the next 6 months, the more I get frustrated. I do not make much money (but enough) and then when it’s consumed by bills, insurance, rent and a car, it’s all the more upsetting.
I know God is using me in Wisconsin, it’s just so hard to see when my desire is for long-term missions in South America. But then the reality of the situation is I am over my head in debt from school and am fearful that I will not be able to pay it off, which then potentially means no missions. I KNOW God and I know He has provision over my life, it’s just consumed by work and spending, not even on additional things, only “necessary” things in America. So, how do I get past this and cling to my Savior? I fully believe it’s possible, because of the Bible story when the widow gives only a few coins. God considered her faithful and blessed her all the more with spiritual things that she couldn’t even receive with money!
I honestly feel that I need to start living a life of faithfulness and only spending the money on these “necessary” items in America. This also includes starting to give to local missions and tithing. Even though I’m raising support, I can still give from my income and glorify God with “my” sum. I just get so wrapped up the issue of money that I can’t see through green (color of money). I confess that I am greedy. I confess that I am worried about money, yet I do not need to.
God’s going to give me everything I need all the days of my life. Take it day by day, Rachel and you will be fine. Do not worry about tomorrow, because today has enough in itself. Matthew 6:34
I know God has provision and is looking out for me in my ever-present moments of darkness, when it seems like I can’t do anything without getting one step farther away from the Lord. But no matter what I think the Lord is still as strong as ever pulling away the rainclouds and bringing life. So, this is the point where joy comes.
