I crave love, especially that love from people. I think it’s human nature to do this. But what if we all loved God more than we loved ourselves and even others? What would the world look like? Excuse me for dreaming here, but there is so much more to give after you have received. Granted giving without receiving is so great, but how can you do that without being served initially. I personally know, that after you have received-(more than saying you receive it, actually believing it is possible) God’s anointing of love, there’s no way one can go back and live life as if you had previous to receiving this new joy and life. Knowing love is what gives you new life.
*Confession-I knew the words, “Jesus Loves Me.” Did I care? No, it was just something I grew up knowing, NOT receiving. However, it wasn’t until this past summer that God revealed more and more love to me than I have ever accepted. I shut people out when it came to love and unfortunately, I did the same with God. Here’s the kicker, though. I was encouraged, almost mandated by one of my leaders in Peru this summer, to sit down and process the stupid lies the enemy was speaking into me. I was told not to move until God spoke into the place of darkness within my heart. It was hard at first, but after God starting breaking apart the lies, I slowing started to realize what was happening. It was just too good to contain! And that’s where I’m saying to say you know love is something completely different than receiving it.
The majority of the 31 lies were based off of love and past events the enemy was using to tell me “I was worthless,” “I’m too far gone,” and “That no one would love me for who I was, because I had too many issues.” Plus, God revealed to me and is revealing to me at this very moment, I was/am basing my identity off of what humans thought/think.
I cannot express how essential knowing truth is. By God speaking truth into the lies, I Know God’s love. Because I’m free of the chains of despair from the lies, I Know God loves me more than any person can. I know His heart breaks when mine breaks. I know He’s torn when I go back to believing lies, yet even in the crapiest moments, I know God is there and I get joy from that.
I’m going to share some of the lies with you in the next post. I don’t want to make myself feel better, but if you see yourself caught up in one of these lies, you need to surrender it and look for truth and wait for God to speak it into you. Sit down and feel God move over you and let him speak into that nasty, disgusting feeling of a lie or series of them. Lastly, as you let go, embrace His love, let Him love you and let yourself love Him back. It’s honestly the best thing that has happened to me, and because of it, I’m able to make progress in showing compassion and being missional.
To be continued…
