Your love is the best that I know. You are safe and keep me strong. You make all things beautiful and good. You are a protector, you are a counselor, you are peace, and you are always near to me. You are the great shepherd and you are true. I love your grace and peace. I just don’t know what I would do without you.
In Cambodia I was unsure how to deal with the children. When I felt weak and insecure. I don’t really understand children all of the time. I certainly don’t know how to teach them. You had me teaching kids for 11 hours a day and I couldn’t really see the point. You were there every day. You gave me strength and taught me to see you in their eyes. I ended up being very useful when we weren’t teaching and there was free time. You reminded me of my creativity and I could make up so many games and play along with any of the childrens’ pretend games. As they sat in my lap and I held them, you held me – and I still didn’t understand the importance of what you were showing me. I had a hard time with my feelings and focused on the things that I needed rather than what you wanted. It really brought me to this broken place where I could not hide from my junk anymore. But you were there. You spoke softly to me through your spirit and through those you placed around me. Despite the hard things we had been though you still showed us ways to get along and really love each other.
You built me up in my spirit and then really broke my heart in Thailand. You showed me why it is so important to minister and love on the children; because you don’t want any of them to end up in the dark places we visited in Thailand. You love your children so much. I got to see your love in the bars with the prostitutes and even the johns. You showed me how you love them even in the midst of their sin. You showed me that there is redemption for those who are ready to see your face. I loved being friends with your daughters that are healing and being rescued from their oppression. But even still there is so much you were teaching me.
You help me to understand myself better so I can better see you in me. Actually the whole point of that is really so I don’t pursue to understand myself, but that the focus becomes less of me and more of you. I thought I understood this at home, but I think we both know the truth in that. Thank you for teaching me where my foundations are weak. It is hard, but you are constantly stretching me to understand new depths of your love so I can then love others better. How can I truly love the world, if I can’t love my brothers and sisters around me? How can I love the world if I can’t truly love myself?
It has been a painful process, but you have been there all the way holding my hand. It has been hard to look in at all the things in life that told me I wasn’t good enough to be your daughter. The things that gave me a different identity than you gave me. It is a long journey from knowing your truth and reading about my identity in you to actually believing it and behaving like I believe it. I love that you are so good and brilliant, that no matter what the enemy has used to destroy me in this life, you can redeem it. I am learning how to keep my eyes on you: To accept my identity in you and act like it. I am learning that even in the bad and tough times there isn’t anything that you can’t use or redeem.
Your love is the best that I know. You are safe and keep me strong. You make all things beautiful and good. You are a protector, you are a counselor, you are peace, and you are always near to me. You are the great shepherd and you are true. I love your grace and peace. I just don’t know what I would do without you.
I REALLY just don’t know what I would do without you.
Psalm 57: 9-10
I’m thanking you, God, out loud in the streets, singing your praises in town and country. The deeper your love, the higher it goes; every cloud is a flag to your faithfulness.
As I am walking into this new season you have spoken to me about becoming the lion and not being eaten by them. The enemy sends his lies out over us to devour us like a pride of lions, but through your strength and authority we can become the lion.
Thank you for leading me from glory to glory.
I love you Abba.
Your Daughter,
Rachel
Art work that I was inspired to do in this new season “be the lion or be eaten by them”
